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Accepting reality

Started by PatiencePlease, May 18, 2022, 12:17:51 PM

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PatiencePlease

The wise women of this forum have helped me time and time again over the years. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!  

My adult children (one son, one daughter) have families of their own.  Geographically, we live far away from each other.  I had hoped that H and I would still continue to be a constant figure in the lives of our kids and grandchildren.  But reality set in.... we live too far apart for that to happen.  I don't like it, but I understand it.  

I hardly ever hear from my son; I know there's marital problems; I know it's better I don't hear the heart wrenching details.  I asked my daughter if we could plan a visit to see her family.  Her response was that they've got too many things going on, suggesting we visit in the fall. Ouch.

As I struggle with this, I am around others who have frequent contact with their adult children.  If they live near their adult children,  they share in the day-to-day and are entwined in the details.  Others live apart from their adult children, but share the day-to-day details via daily phone calls and face time, etc.  

I could mourn the relationship I don't share with my adult children, or... I could accept what is and celebrate  their independence (that was the goal I hoped for as their parent).  I choose the latter.


Marina

Hugs to you.  My son, DIL, and their young kids live close by and I don't have contact with the family because DIL won't allow it nor is she willing to work on any issues between us.  I still have some contact with son because he continues to make it happen.  I have my ups and downs with it emotionally, and I'm still trying to find peace in this situation.

PatiencePlease

Sending you hugs Marina. Please know  I still have my moments but I am determined not to host another personal pity party for myself which is so easy for me to do.

Your son continues to stay in touch.  Hold on to that and don't give up. Who knows what the future holds?

Thank you for sharing your story.