I am new to "blogging", and found this web site at 3 a.m. Wish i'd found it 6 years ago when all this started. DS is with a GF who has one 5 y/o dear sweet daughter, whom we've been involved with since she was 6 months old. From day one, GF has had this "thing" about us that we don't like her. We come from different schools of thought, but we have ALWAYS been welcoming. I think because our son told her we are not into piercings and tatoos, she feels inferior... that was put to rest a long time ago, we do not judge a book by its cover, and have let her know that. But the rift still continues. We have welcomed her even when she throws herself down on our couch with her arms folded in front of her and wouldn't carry a conversation when I approached. It was, primal ugs and m-mm's. She gave birth to our 1st GS back in January 2010, we have but seen him maybe 5 times. She wouldn't allow us at the hospital when she gave birth. DS just goes along with what she says. Its a mess, too much to share in one blog... I should have been Journaling all this time, and I really wish I would have, just to look back and see what crazyness and madness is involved in this situation. I know I haven't given much information about the situation so you can comment, but I was just kinda giving a foundation and synopsis. Her dear daughter is a sweetheart, whenever they do allow her to come over, its for an over-night stay, and once I had her for 2-3 days, (when they had to go to a funeral out of state and had no other recourse) Anyhow, she and I have a sweet relationship, I'm a former PS Teacher and love little kids. My GS hardly knows me/us, the longest we have been with him is maybe 2-3 hours. My heart is broken, at that, and at how our DS has treated us. This all started with another gf back when he was 19 (is now 27). When he invited her to sleep over in our home. I was very angry, cause he knew the house rules. I told them to leave, He fought me to the ground for his car keys and left me there and walked away. My heart was broken We had never even ever had an argument prior to that... He went and lived with her and her mom then they moved to Arkansas, (unbeknown to us he had been spending nights at her house when he was supposed to be a a 'friends' house) my DH helped them move (in the mean time both DH & I were laid off our jobs, his being a 30 yr. job) We had to sell, and we moved from TX to WA. DS didn't speak to us for 6 months and started responding to letters we'd sent. He ended up moving out of gf's & her mothers, and in with some guys (still in Arkansas). He agreed to a visit by me for Thanksgiving and Christmas, and I purchased non-refundable airline ticket for both holidays... ha never do that again! He ended up moving up here Nov.1st (2004) and within a year found this gf. Its been peaks and valleys, as her moods change. Some of the battles have been STUPID! Like when we bought a Swingset for gd birthday (and had pre-authorized it with our ds) then it became a "we are trying to buy her love and affection thing" when all we had here was a "craigslist play kitchen" and some dishes and a tricycle. No elaborate swing-set just a plain 3 seater with a slide. They invite us to go places like the Zoo on a specific day, then never follow through and don't call. We plan dinners fix them and they don't show up, she never even acknowledges (meaning never says thank you) for gifts we've given her... I give up.... I have tried to invite her to have coffee or tea with me or a soft drink but says she doesn't drink them ... I've offered (when she was pregnant to help her with anything she needed) she just doesn't want anything to do with me. I am not a perfect person, nor do I give err of being that way, just a loving person, as any of my friends would tell you. I've often thought to have all them write a "Letter of Recommendation" to DS's GF and her family too (especially her mom) DS & GF live with her mom by the way!!! (as he did in Arkansas) hmmm... do I see a pattern here.... duh yeah! Anyhow I'm 58 and soon to be 59 DH is 66 and we are worn out by all this... sometimes I feel like selling our beautiful home on a river and going RV'ing the rest of our days, but feel like we'd miss out on any opportunity we might miss at restoring relationships... but then again... it might open DS's eyes (he's an only child). He has cousins up here that he can't even associate with, his GF gets mad if he talks to us too long on the phone. I hope he's happy!!! (but he has told us different, he's just there b/c of the kids, is what he tells us).
Worn out in Washington
Blessings... My New-found Friends
