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His Mother Phoned me...

Started by Cat, September 11, 2009, 02:57:42 am

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Cat

Hi Guys,
Just a quick feedback.
Well my hubby decided to stay a week with his mother, I felt very sorry for myself-even thou it was my idea!!!
and cried my eyes out yesterday missing him.
Anyway, just wanted to say, his mother phoned me yesterday, thanking me that she can spend some time with him- well not that directly, but in her own sort of way, and I think that was really kind of her.
The thing is, I don't know if I would even have had this idea if it wasn't for this blog!
So I just wanted to let all you MIL out there know, you posting here might make some other MIL's live a bit better!

That must be a great feeling, to know that you just changed someones live.
Thanks.

chickiebaby

That's wonderful, Cat!! That was so giving of you to have him go.  You are so kind to do that; it would never have happened for me.  I envy your MIL...she's a lucky lady to have you.   All of you girls have changed our lives too.  :)

Cat

Well I wouldn't have been so giving if it wasn't for all of your insights, so thank you!
:)
I Think I just realized that if I want to get back, I have to give so much more.For all the support all of you has given me, I could never give back enough!

chickiebaby

You're so sweet....it was once called "The Magnificent Obsession", now it's called "Paying it Forward", I think....the idea of giving to get back.

  Anyway, it's a wonderful thing you did for his Mother.  Not many young women are secure enough to do what you did. :)

AnnieB

Wow, Cat!   That is such wonderful news!  What a difference you've made in the way this all turns out -- I am really happy for you and your family :)

This helps me --- it makes me realize I need to be more giving too, and open to my own DIL(s).  There's hope, if I can be open -- thank you for sharing your experience with us!


lostone

CAT - What you did showed how much you love your husband and respect his family.  You didn't have to do it, but you did and I hope that God blesses you more than you can imagine for being so selfless and giving.

Wish you were my DIL! :)

Cat

Wow you guys, thanks for all the support. You give to me what I can never get from my MIL- and I think this makes you all the perfect MIL! What a great place to be!
Thanks for that, that gives me a great deal of hope.
I don't want to discuss all the yucky details with my own mother, since it upsets her more than anything else-and I don't want my mother to carry a bitter-feeling in her heart.
So this forum really helps me in that way as well!
Thanks again!

chickiebaby


just2baccepted

Wow that really is a good story.  Maybe MIL feels a little better since she feels you allowed that.  I hope things go better for you here on out.

Alicev

September 11, 2009, 08:21:44 am #9 Last Edit: September 11, 2009, 10:15:40 am by Alicev
I think this is wonderful news. I think that his mum really appreciated the fact that her son stayed with her and that you were ok with it. She cares for both of you.

Cat

September 11, 2009, 08:40:14 am #10 Last Edit: September 11, 2009, 08:43:31 am by Cat
Hi AliceV,

Thank you for your wonderful posts, I really appreciate your help and understanding.

I am a bit skeptical, about his mother liking me, things that happened showed that she is not so keen about me, but I know she loves her son, and he will always love her, so why should I keep the 2 apart, she doesn't HAVE TO like me, but that doesn't mean I have the right to be angry and keep my husband from her to make her unhappy, because then I will only make him unhappy as well. It is actually sad, that someone as young as me has to be the grownup one in our relationship. I wish my MIL cared more, like all of you MIL who are posting, just by posting you are admitting that you are looking for answers, which means you care.
But I will anyway go on getting tips from you, and try to work hard for the sake of my husband!

luise.volta

Cat - Take a bow! We can support you and give you feed back...but you are the one who did the deed!!
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

Alicev

Hi Cat!

Your attitude seems very mature. I think you did the right thing. And by doing the right thing you start to build your self-esteem and make your inner self stronger and stronger. Every little action builds upon it. You will be able to stand up and know that despite other's immaturity YOU have done the right thing - you will come from a very strong position to argue your case if ever needed.

I understand how tough it can be emotionally though. I know you would ideally wish your MIL to like you. Even if she doesn't, you will always have a choice to do your part respectfully in a relationship. Your husband will notice this, and believe me he will be grateful to you.

Cat

Hi Guys

Thanks for the advice everyone! Appreciate it!
Alcev, "you will come from a very strong position to argue your case if ever needed.",
never thought about it that way, very true! Glad you mentioned it!