Thank You's

[Pooh]

Lol...thanks Nana!  Well now here's the part I didn't tell you.  I was not there when this transpired with my Mother.  We live about an hour away and got ready at home and was on our way while all this was going on.  I could tell my Mother was a little flustered when I got there, and figuring it was just the worry of all those people being in her house, I asked her what I could do for her.  Then she told me what had happened.  Oh, I was mad!  I wanted to stomp in there and ninja-chop her Mother, throttle my DIL and drop-kick her maid of honor all the way down the driveway, all the while yelling, "You can treat me however you want, because I can take it....BUT....(this is where I would be whipping hiney between each word for effect)...THAT....IS....MY.....MOTHER!  My mother knows me very well and could see the fire in my eyes and she just said, "Not today.  It is their wedding day and we are not going to lower ourselves to their level."

Bless her heart, my Mother is so patient and wise so I abided by her wishes.  Now, I am not going to lie, I consider myself to have a pretty good control on my temper and do not condone violence, but had this transpired while I was there, I would have lowered myself to there level immediately!  It would have been on!  And her Mother's black eye would have went fabulously with that black and white leopard skirt she wore!!!

Thank goodness my Mother has more tact than I do.....

[Pooh]

And there is also history between her Mother and I.  When the whole foot-stomping, eye-rolling thing took place in the gym, and I had words with my FDIL, she went home and told her Mother.  About a week later, we were at the same bowling tournament with the kids and her Mother said she needed to talk to me.  She proceeded to tell me how she didn't appreciate how I had talked to her daughter.....blah...blah...blah.  It went on and on.  And then she said, "What if they get married?   Are you going to tell me you wouldn't support them financially while they finished college?"

I started laughing and said, "Dang skippy I would not financially support them.  If they choose to marry before they finish college, then they are on their own!"  I was walking off at that point and she said, "I guess you don't love your Son.  I love my Daughter and would pay for all their bills.  Shows who's the better Mother."  Now that crossed the line and I said hatefully, "Don't ever question my love for my children or ever say that I don't love my Son again.  I just don't cater to my children and condone disrespectful behavior out of them.  And after that, don't ever speak to me again."

It was bad.  I was so angry that she would say something like that and jump me for what happened between FDIL and I, while excusing her behavior.  She did apologize to me about 3 months later, while we were at a Park taking pictures before Prom.  Here was all our family snapping pictures and she came over and apologized, then started explaining herself.  I just looked at her and said, "I accept your apology, but this is not the time or place to be doing this.  It is prom night for them and their time.  Not ours."  And I walked off.  So although I said I accepted the apology, she was more angry because I walked off. 

Ummm.....I don't like her.

[Sunny1]

You just said a lot in that Pooh. It's easy to see where your DIL gets her attitude. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, does it?

[Pooh]

You are so right.  I do say that.   She is just like her Mother, and sometimes I feel sorry for her, knowing that she doesn't know any better because she was raised to be "entitled" because her Mother is that way.  And for the first four years of their relationship, I tried to be understanding and ignore a lot of her behavior because of that.  But after a while, I got tired of the disrespect, and although I understand where it comes from, I couldn't put up with the attitude and disrespect any longer.  So now, I ignore her along with the behavior.  The down-side is, I have no contact with my Son either now.  But, that is his choice.

[Pooh]

Thanks Anna.  I truly hope that as they mature, they will learn and we can't start anew.  I think it will take an "awakening" in both of them.  She needs to to learn empathy, and he needs to stop cowering, put his foot down and stop avoiding conflict.  He needs to deal with things instead of just shrugging them off.  Not for my sake, but for his.