July 22, 2019, 09:56:42 am

News:

"Welcome to WiseWomenUnite.com -- When adult children marry and leave home, life can sometimes get more complex instead of simpler.  Being a mother-in-law or daughter-in-law can be tough.  How do we extend love and support to our mothers-in-law, adult children, daughters-in-law, sons-in-law, and grandchildren without interfering?  What do we do when there are communication problems?  How can we ask for help when we need it without being a burden?  And how do our family members feel about these issues?  We invite you to join our free forum, read some posts... and when you're ready...share your challenges and wisdom."


DH has decided to tell his mother we are having a baby

Started by MLW07, September 10, 2010, 02:26:30 pm

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

MLW07

Hey all,

My DH has decided to call his mother and let her know we are having a baby.  I still have reservations, but ultimately think telling the in-laws is the right thing to do.  Please keep us in you thoughts and keep your fingers crossed that they don't get the wrong idea and think everything is swept under the rug.  I hope for DH she is nice and supportive and our life stays drama free.  Hey, maybe she will realize what she will be missing out on as a result of her behavior and can change, but I seriously doubt it.  Although, for my DH it would be great.  I just am not sure a true narcissist can change, especially if they think they haven't done anything wrong. 

Thanks for the support ladies!

luise.volta

Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

cremebrulee

September 10, 2010, 03:37:57 pm #2 Last Edit: September 10, 2010, 03:49:06 pm by cremebrulee
me to, I'm so happy to hear your news...no matter what happens, know you did the right thing...and bless you all

I really do hope this time has served your inlaws well



sassafras

 :)As a MIL that was the very last to know I can assure he's doing the right thing.  I found out when someone let if slip to my daughter.  It really hurt!

cremebrulee

MLW07


Please, when you get a chance, let us know how you made out and I surely do wish the time away from you, taught them something?

Hugs
Creme

Pooh

Sending lots of good thoughts that this works out well!
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

MLW07

Hey ladies,

DH called his mom on Saturday and the conversation went better than expected.  He simply told her that he didn't know if they were interested, but....  Her response was one of excitement and congratulations.  His dad was standing next to her and when she told him my DH said he sounded giddy.  She mentioned that they would like to get together, but would wait to let us contact them.  At least this is a step in the right direction.

My DH was happy and excited that she didn't dismiss him.  He wants to wait a few weeks to let the news settle in and to make sure she won't go crazy.  At the end of a few weeks if she has behaved, he would like to invite them over for dinner.  I have told him that I support whatever he decides.

This new development makes us both very nervous.  We are praying time has changed her, but we have our doubts.  DH says he is willing to give it one more shot.  He really wants us to sit down with her and his dad and have a serious conversation.  He doesn't want to threaten her, but he wants to make it known that this is her final chance to be a family and that she must respect our decisions and boundaries.


Wish us luck and thanks for the support.

Pooh

That is such good news!  I am so glad the conversation went well.  I am also very glad that his Mother said they wanted to get together, but would wait for an invite.  I know you said to wait a few weeks, but please don't wait to long.  I truly believe she needs to be rewarded for saying that and let her know you heard her and appreciate it.  Maybe that will show her if she obeys the boundaries, you will include her?

Great news!
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

MLW07

Pooh-

It probably won't be too long.  My DH is a shift worker so he only has three weekends in a five week rotation off.  He has two more weekends off before he has to work another weekend.  We probably will shoot for not this weekend coming up, but the next.  Again, I am letting him handle this whole thing.  The less I can be blamed for the better.

Pooh

We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

luise.volta

Crossing my fingers, arms, ankles, eyes, toes and "Ts!" And sending love...
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

MLW07

Thanks Luise.  I really hope it works out; for my DH and my baby.

MLW07

I think my DH is going to ask them to come down for dinner next Saturday.  I sure hope it works out and she is on her best bahavior then and from now on.  What is ironic is that next weekend will be 2 years to the day since we last saw them.  Mil sent him a text message on Thursday telling him how excited she and his dad are about our sweet little angel.  She also said she hoped I am feeling okay.  I guess this is good progress and at least she hasn't been pushing her family on us.  We did find out through a cousin's wife that her oldest brother (the one who threatened to kill my DH and his dad, pushed her down and came after me) is dying and they don't expect him to live to see the holidays.

Pooh

I so hope that she has learned and that this dinner goes well towards her repairing the relationship.  But also know, that if it doesn't, you can say with total certainty, that you guys tried your best.  Best of luck and it is so big of you to give her one more shot.
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

Barbie