Author Topic: Please help me see the logic...  (Read 2447 times)

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cremebrulee

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Please help me see the logic...
« on: September 10, 2010, 02:10:52 PM »
well, I'm actually ashamed to admit this....however, my DIL calls my son's dad and step mom, mom and dad....and she calls me by my first name.

Yanno, it hurts sometime...not all the time, but it really hurts...and I cannot believe they don't call his step mom by her first name?  She is not his mother and I could understand even more if I were not here, but it's like sticking a knife in my back and twisting it...

I say I have forgiven her for what she's done, and yet, every time I'm around her she always says something mean to stick the knife in once again...like the last time, when I bumped into them...she said, Creme, when you were there, did DIL work?  I looked at her funny and wondered where this was leading, and she always sets you up like this...I replied, "no?"  She said, "well she did when we were there and we had GD all to ourselves?????"

Why is it, I always get last dibs...why is it, when they are home they stay with his father more...? 

a good friend told me once, "your son loves you very much, you can see the light in his eyes when he is with you" Well, if that be the cae, then why can't he see how much it would hurt him if his daughter would call someone else dad?

I guess I haven't totally forgiven her....she slapped my son across the face several times and said terrible things to him and really was abusive to him...very mean and manipulative....and she hated me for bring it to the surface...for exposing her...and the thing that really upset me was....his own father, sided with her, he had to be right at all costs...

I was coming out of thebathroom at the hearing and they're attorney who had a very bad reputation called me unthinkable names....I mean, litereally unthinkable names..?

And never have they apologized once, although she did apologize to my son....that she did do and she promised him she would never do it again, however, if she had, I'd have gone after her, sorry but nobody hits my child across the face...I never did?????

My girlfriend once suggested that my son does this b/c he feels his father needs him more then I do...that he views me as being very strong and his father as weak....however...how and why would you call another woman mom, when your mom is still alive....?  Iknow they love the idea of being a part of a big family....a family I could never have or give to my son....and  I guess, cuz I so wanted more children and couldn't have them...it hurts....it really hurts....

now I didn't tell you the whole story, my son's father adopted her 3 kids as his own when they were very little, and they call him dad, b/c they're father died when they were dating.  and the kids were very little...so you need to know that part...they told me they wanted son to not feel like an outsider, and I can understand that to, butit still hurts deep....well, I count my lucky stars that DILand I resolved our differences....so, I guess I should be thinking of that and not allow the negative  thoughts in...can't change it...and wouldn't want my son to do anything he doesn't want to do..or my DIL....at least they have a large family...something

I know, I know, I'm being very jealous, selfish and foolish...
« Last Edit: September 10, 2010, 02:20:41 PM by cremebrulee »

MLW07

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Re: Please help me see the logic...
« Reply #1 on: September 10, 2010, 02:16:55 PM »
I don't have any words of wisdom, but I don't think you are being selfish or foolish.  You may be jealous, but who wouldn't be.  You are only human.  Keep the faith and know you son loves you.

cremebrulee

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Re: Please help me see the logic...
« Reply #2 on: September 10, 2010, 02:22:54 PM »
MLWo7
thanks for the response and for your kindness....
it's good to see you, how are you feeling?

hope the pregnancy is going well.....

hugs and thanks
Creme

barelythere

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Re: Please help me see the logic...
« Reply #3 on: September 10, 2010, 02:27:43 PM »
Creme, your son's step mother is not a threat to your Daughter in law that's why.  Don't you dare feel badly about feeling sad today.

MLW07

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Re: Please help me see the logic...
« Reply #4 on: September 10, 2010, 02:29:03 PM »
Creme-

I am feeling great!  No morning sickness...just a case of the hives.  Being pregnant has resulted in a new food allergy.  Thank you so much for asking and please remember to keep your head held high!

cremebrulee

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Re: Please help me see the logic...
« Reply #5 on: September 10, 2010, 02:57:50 PM »
Creme, your son's step mother is not a threat to your Daughter in law that's why.  Don't you dare feel badly about feeling sad today.

Thanks so much, really do appreciate your kindness

cremebrulee

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Re: Please help me see the logic...
« Reply #6 on: September 10, 2010, 02:59:58 PM »
Creme-

I am feeling great!  No morning sickness...just a case of the hives.  Being pregnant has resulted in a new food allergy.  Thank you so much for asking and please remember to keep your head held high!

Oh, that's good news, I was a bit worried, b/c you haven't posted in a while...so thanks for coming back and letting me know...

I will, just wish I knew how to overcome these awful feelings I have..jealousy, wishing it were me...yanno? 

I must think about what I have, and how far we've come, and not what I don't have....listen to my own advice, right...?
 ;D

Offline luise.volta

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Re: Please help me see the logic...
« Reply #7 on: September 10, 2010, 03:00:39 PM »
You are not jealous and foolish. Read this from Shakespeare "How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is. To have a thankless child! Away, away!"

And a thankless DIL? Yes..."away, away!" Sending love...
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

cremebrulee

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Re: Please help me see the logic...
« Reply #8 on: September 10, 2010, 03:02:12 PM »
You are not jealous and foolish. Read this from Shakespeare "How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is. To have a thankless child! Away, away!"

And a thankless DIL? Yes..."away, away!" Sending love...

OMG, Luise, how are you feeling, how are things going?  I'm so surprised to see you?

thank you kindly for your words....

Offline luise.volta

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Re: Please help me see the logic...
« Reply #9 on: September 10, 2010, 03:15:38 PM »
I'm OK. 2nd day post-op.

And I just want to remind you that you don't have to look very far to find jealous and foolish. Ah, yes...there she is!

We just have to keep letting go until it takes...that is until we stop taking it back! Lotsa love!
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

cremebrulee

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Re: Please help me see the logic...
« Reply #10 on: September 10, 2010, 03:22:06 PM »
I'm OK. 2nd day post-op.

And I just want to remind you that you don't have to look very far to find jealous and foolish. Ah, yes...there she is!

We just have to keep letting go until it takes...that is until we stop taking it back! Lotsa love!


LOL
well take care....(should you be reading?) bad bad girl....
and seriously, thanks for taking the time to come in and comment...

Offline luise.volta

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Re: Please help me see the logic...
« Reply #11 on: September 10, 2010, 03:28:09 PM »
Look at the number of posts you have contributed! You're FAMILY!  8) (Here I am...wearing dark glasses! Good girl!)
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

cremebrulee

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Re: Please help me see the logic...
« Reply #12 on: September 10, 2010, 03:31:19 PM »
yeah well, all the number of posts mean is I have a big big mouth....
but thanks again so much, can't tell you how much you and the other ladies here have helped me...I appreciate for your help and friendship.
now, go rest those eyes...and takecarea you!

Offline luise.volta

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Re: Please help me see the logic...
« Reply #13 on: September 10, 2010, 03:32:47 PM »
Yes, mam... :-)
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

barelythere

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Re: Please help me see the logic...
« Reply #14 on: September 10, 2010, 03:53:17 PM »
you're great, Creme.   :)