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URGENT QUESTION

Started by Cat, September 07, 2009, 01:41:42 pm

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Cat

September 07, 2009, 01:41:42 pm Last Edit: September 07, 2009, 01:59:49 pm by Cat
My husband is flying up this weekend for business. He said, since he will be close to his parents- which doesn't happen often, he should maybe drive through for one day to visit them.
I suggested that he should stay for a week. Since they really miss him.
And they are always asking to see us more often.
I think it will be good for my husband to have some alone time with his whole family?
What do you think?

I am just scared that this will somehow find a way to blow up in my face- hard to believe but yes, - instead of being glad to spend time with their son, it will rather turn out to be something like: I am avoiding them- even thou I can't be there.
I guess I am just paranoid, since they are always mean to me.
But what do you think?

Prissy

Dear Cat,
I don't think they will think you're avoiding them since he's flying there on business. You wouldn't be going anyway....so I don't see how they could feel that way.

I hope they don't.  At least he's going by there....that's a parent's best feeling.  Let us know.  Hoping for a miracle.... :)

AnnieB

Seems a visit is a good idea.  A week is a looonnnnnggg time, though.  You know what they say about fish and relatives --- after 3 days...um,I forget the rest... how does he feel about a 7 day visit?

In any case, he would be wise to be careful what he says you said, etc.   

I'm paranoid in the other way with my 2nd DIL, so I know.. sometimes you are darned if you do, darned if you don't.

just2baccepted

That's a hard one to reply to. If they're just like that, meaning looking for a reason to despise you the way my IL's do to me, then I would just accept the fact that this may happen.  But I would assume that your DH can realize that his parents are being unreasonable about you right?  I know my DH has finally been able to see that.  Nobody wants to think bad of family but we can't pick our relatives.  Even serial killers have relatives.  How would you like to be Ted Bundy or Jeffrey Dahmer's IL! Wheeeew that wouldn't be fun!!

Prissy

Jeffrey would have eaten his inlaws (sorry)


luise.volta

Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

Prissy

I know...couldn't resist.... :P

Ted Bundy wasn't married..he probably thought the inlaws would catch on to him.  You know how we are!  ;D...I'm kind of a walkin talkin fact person. 

luise.volta

Cat - If possible, just have it be the way it is, while you have them be how they are. What's the use in anticipating fall-out even though you may have to deal with it? They could have a good time together.  :) And you might, too! How cool is not having to go?! ;D
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

Cat

Luise,
How cool is not having to go??!!,Your so funny Luise!
That is so funny, YES!!! I am so relieved! I am so glad I am not able to go!

Annie,
A week is not long for his parents, they would prefer a month if they had any say.
A week is very very very very very long, for me thou, I also prefer only spending 3 days @ their place. But since it will be only him, I think it would be fine, or do you mean his mother will get into his head, in a bad way?
That is actually what I am afraid of??What do you think?

Cat

Thank you so much everybody for your support and help!
I really appreciate all your unique and useful insights.
This blog really helped me in more ways than you would ever believe.
All my love*

luise.volta

Well, his mother getting into his head is about him and your having to deal with it later (if you have to) is about you. Best to know "which is tother." In the meantime...enjoy!  :D
Run, laugh, play, be silly...Whee! (Oh, yeah...and you probably have to work. :-[
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

Prissy

Hey Cat,
What is it that you think she would say to get in his head? He already adores you so nothing can take that away. 


AnnieB

September 08, 2009, 08:12:25 am #12 Last Edit: September 08, 2009, 08:13:56 am by AnnieB
Yeah, in this case I think I would try to not worry so much and just follow luise's idea of just letting it be.  I usually spend too much of my own time in my head, dreaming out scenarios of things that never come to be -- or even if they do, they aren't what I enacted in my head.   I should spend my time doing funner things, you tooooo!!!! 

Enjoy your time without them and let them enjoy theirs together.

In regards to the length of the visit, I just meant from your husband's viewpoint -- if a week is fine for him, that's great!  If it's too long, he shouldn't force it would be my thoughts.

However long or short it is, I love luise's attitude for your perspective!   Enjoy your time!


SunnyDays09

agree! 

  Note to selfs:  When in doubt, ask luise!!!  :)

luise.volta

I don't even know my own IP address! To me IP has a bathroom connotation.  ;D
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama