August 21, 2019, 09:09:41 pm


"Welcome to -- When adult children marry and leave home, life can sometimes get more complex instead of simpler.  Being a mother-in-law or daughter-in-law can be tough.  How do we extend love and support to our mothers-in-law, adult children, daughters-in-law, sons-in-law, and grandchildren without interfering?  What do we do when there are communication problems?  How can we ask for help when we need it without being a burden?  And how do our family members feel about these issues?  We invite you to join our free forum, read some posts... and when you're ready...share your challenges and wisdom."

Have not been here for a very long time!

Started by JaneF, February 12, 2016, 02:25:19 pm

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Hello. I'm not sure if anyone will remember me. I have thought of you all often. I needed to take time off to focus on the grandkids, and daughter issues.  I have so very much I want to tell you! First I'll say the kids are doing well.  They have grown so much! The oldest, the girl we have always raised will be 17 in June, and she's a beauty. Such musical talent, we are both proud and amazed. She is in her 4th year of band, plays flute. Taking piano lessons, plays some ukelele and acoustic guitar. Sings like a dream and has even recorded 2 original songs at a studio.  Not ready to market yet, but she is still writing songs. She won the high school talent show last year, performs in public now! More on her later. The oldest boy will be 13 in June. The ex step father still in prison and has yet to be charged with molesting this child. He is in first year of band, plays tuba! Went through counseling and diagnosed bipolar. He's a sweet boy. He just had emergency surgery last week. Appendix. He's recovering nicely. He goes to the middle school now 7th grade. He has really grown in height and weight. He is doing great. The youngest is now 7, and cute as he can be! But oh my what a handful he is!!! Giving his teacher a run for her money. He has sensory processing disorder, and we are trying to get testing for autism spectrum. He is being referred by teacher for gifted class! His vocabulary is amazing!  He is a great reader,  way above his level teacher said. My daughter has been out of prison almost 2 and a half years. Doing well. Still drug free, going to school now! She divorced the one that is still in prison. We still own our very large home, but purchased newer one this year. Hope to catch up with you all soon!


Of course I remember you, many of us will! Welcome 'home'm JF! The door is never locked and we always leave the Light on! Be back shortly. Hugs
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama


Hi Jane,
I am a relatively new member, but I have read almost all the threads under Adult Sons and Daughters category, so I definitely remember your name.  In looking a little at your story, I am struck with how you fought for those grandkids, believed in them and worked to get them to live with you and get them the support, services and activities they needed to thrive, which is certainly what is happening now.  You and your husband have made a world of difference in their lives and your commitment and love is so apparent.  It must be gratifying to see your daughter take responsibility for her bad choices, and make positive life choices.  It is a message to all of us to never give up hope on our AC, no matter how dark it seems.  I'm so inspired by your story!


Well thank you for the kind words! But in all honesty, it has been quite a challenge at times for us all. I adore my grandchildren, and I love my daughter....BUT, there days when I am feeling very exhausted (I work third shift, my husband works first shift), sometimes I am very cranky because of lack of sleep, and I have to admit I'm frustrated at  times because I really feel like by this time in my life (age 55), I should have my freedom instead of doing this. I wouldn't be honest if I denied those feelings. I am glad I made the choices I did because the children and my daughter benefitted from it. The oldest is at a show choir competition today, hope she has a wonderful day! I am home with the boys. One has a bit of a cough, some congestion, so I had to give some medicine. Both boys have been very good today. I'm baking a pineapple upside down cake because my grandaughter wanted to do that for her boyfriends valentine gift...she had to be gone today so I did it for her. I prepared valentine gift bags for all 3 kids, my husband, and my mother. I will go spend time with her tomorrow! We have plans to have lunch, and enjoy a trip to the library! We are avid readers. My father passed away less than a year ago, so I went to see my mom after years of a poor relationship. We have spent many, many hours just talking and sharing thoughts. I'm so very glad to say our relationship is better than its ever been in my life, and I'm grateful for that. She and I have both learned a lot, and changed a lot. Well, time to check the cake! Have a most fabulous evening !


JF, thanks for checking in! Great to hear how well thing are going :)
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb


Thanks Pen! It's been a busy afternoon. I had to take my grandson to the doctor for after surgery check up. Thinks are healing great, released to do regular gym activities, and band class! He couldn't lift his tuba until doctor release. I have a meeting at work 8 am, then a meeting for my girl and IEP stuff at 10 am. Mercy! Have a great evening all.


Hey Jane!  Glad to hear things are going well and good to see you!
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell