Pooh- Thank you for the welcome. I should have added. I asked the photographer to schedule a MIL first look with just her and her husband. She didn't like that, I suggested pics with the groom. She still said no. So, I moved on. And, I'm going through the "read me first section"
Monroe - Dementia aside, I think she has some internal anger issues. She had a hard life due to her disability and has felt excluded. I think its ramping up with the dementia.
The weekend of the shower, she asked my husband "are you sure you want to do this?" It broke his heart. I just rolled with it because I know she is losing her filter.
During the last day my inlaws were in town for the wedding, my MIL fell out of bed. I was on route to the hotel to see my parents. My husband was sick and I told him to stay at home and rest. MIL fell out of bed at the hotel. FIL couldn't lift her so he called security. Security called EMTs (liability). Husband called my father to check on them as I was on route and he was about to leave. I got there first. MIl asked "where is my son?" I said he is 5 minutes behind. She looked so sad and disappointed. I asked if she was okay. She told me to get out. Husband showed up shortly after. I hung out in my parents room. The inlaws were pissed that we (father and I) got involved. That's when the nasty comments "I forbid you to see her and her family" started. We sent them an apology letter and they seem now.
On one hand, I just rolled with the events of the weekend, I dont think she is happy in her life being disabled and that is magnifed with the "dementia". (Being disabled and being happy aren't mutually exclusive. However, I acknowledge it is alot harder to be happy when you have a disability.) What I worry about is what will happen at future. If i have kids, will my parents not be included because she doesn't like it? (I know husband wont let it happen). Will she miss out on opportunities because I need to be around the kid to nurse it? What is really going on? I know she falls a lot. FIL wont get her checked up. Yes, it isn't my problem. However, if I have kids, should I leave the kids alone with them? What happens if she falls and the toddler is getting into trouble?
Her health isn't my problem but I'm keeping a close eye on it for the future. I guess in the interim. I'm learning about dementia and how to deal with a difficult MIL.