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Started by gettingoldandcranky, July 03, 2015, 08:22:16 am

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just checking in to vent yet again.  ds and his family away for the wkend.  nice, right?  they traveled 300 miles and rented a place with friends.  good for them - glad they are having fun.
we live within an hour.  when we invite it is too much trouble - always an excuse.  too far, too hard to travel.  ALWAYS an excuse. 
just don't understand.
trying to keep that rope dropped.  but it still hurts when you get slapped.


Yes, making sense of the senseless doesn't work. They are doing what they want to do and may not even see it as a slap. In my case...DS and DIL didn't factor me into their lives. So they couldn't slap a nonexistent person. Sending hugs...
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama


July 05, 2015, 08:47:42 am #2 Last Edit: July 05, 2015, 09:17:43 am by luise.volta
Yes, it has been the same for me, I am not on the list of visits anymore. I can only figure that what ever it is that they like ( and believe me I have tried to make visits nice in the past, maybe four visits in many years) they do not find it with me, so visiting me a more of a chore then a pleasure for them. It is a very difficult thing to accept that people do not want to just spend time with you, that you are not fun enough or whatever. It is a different generation, that is for sure. I am sorry that this is the way it is for you too, try to think or do something else, anything else, because really there is nothing you can do about it. Voicing how you feel to them may get you a visit. But you really just need to look for other activities, or other people that will keep you busy and hopefully make you happy.


I'm going to play devil's advocate here.  To do so, I had to think back to my "younger" days.  I will admit (and I'm changing this dynamic over to my Mother, not MIL, because I have always loved and appreciated my Mother and had a good relationship), if I had a choice back then to go somewhere fun with friends for a weekend away and going to visit my Mother....I would have went for the fun weekend.  So even though I love my Mother, back in my younger days, I didn't give as much thought to things like that. 

I'm not making an excuse for them, just saying that maturity brings more of a sense of how important spending time with my parents has become as they get older and I get older.  I get that there are more dynamics going on than just this weekend trip, but I also want to point out that "sometimes" I think we can see everything as a slight just because of all the other things going on.

Hang in there.
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell