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I survived Mother's Day!!

Started by dogmusic, May 11, 2015, 05:13:39 am

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Woo hoo! It's over! One brief crying spell in the am. Never heard from AD. That's ok. We're on the path of no communication at all. At some point she will regret how disgustingly awful she treats her father and me. Had my sister over for dinner (single, no kids) but she misses our mother so I was happy to have her here. My son had to work but he stopped by in the evening with a small potted plant which was so appreciated. I did laundry and cooked dinner but that was ok with me. I don't like spending the high prices they charge on holidays when you go out to eat. Some friends came over in the evening to chat so that was nice. I am finally becoming more accepting of my AD's hatefulness and not fighting it so much. I think about her and her kids all the time but life goes on and I am reaching out to other people. One thing I have learned - everyone can be replaced. There are so many people in the world who need love and attention that once you open your eyes and your heart, they are just there. My heart will always ache for the daughter I thought I had, but I will go on. I know I am in for more crying and sadness but those are just temporary setbacks. I got my coffeepot working, my doggie is happy and DH will be back from work soon. All is good.


We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell


Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama


good for you!  you have a strong attitude which always helps.
my ds skyped with my dh for mother's day!  he knew i was away and didn't call me - his mother.
but i had made plans to do something fun and did have a good day.  it still really stings that he is so angry and dislikes me so much that he couldn't even hear my voice.  devastating.  but other son wished me happy day - he worked on my car and is helping me get strong and healthy.   i was a good mom - i am a good mom.  dil and ds can't ever take that away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Your son sounds mean and angry like my AD. He hurt you by skyping with your DH when he knew you would be gone. I am waiting to see how my angry AD hurts us when she has her baby which is due in a week. Probably totally ignore us and not tell us when the baby is born. I fully expect her to come home (she lives 400 miles away) with the baby and not visit us. If I can imagine the most hurtful thing she could do that would be it. She recently bought a house with her DH and we don't even know where she lives. Beautiful. How angry is that? I was - I AM a good mother too.

Green Thumb

Yes, you are a good mother. We can't judge ourselves by how the hateful people treat us. And if you don't have a hateful AC, you have no clue how some of them are. My mother's day was okay also. Made a tasty tenderloin beef roast for Saturday dinner with my AS. Lot of work but nice to just eat and have down time together. Went to church in the pouring rain on Sunday, and was one of the few that made it in, so made it worthwhile! Went out to eat lunch with my DH, then over to visit with his mother. We skipped the family dinner for the MIL, so it was a wonderful day. DH family is very hateful, also, even his mother is a narcissist. They fight among themselves to be the golden child so was a blessing to not go. And to be choosing our mental health over the "slavery" that is this hateful family. Got enough hatefulness with my ADs. We are all getting wiser and stronger.


My day wasn't anything special, and I did shed a couple of tears for me (not being given the TV commercial perfect day, whine whine whine)and also for my friends who have lost their children and for whom the day is really brutal. But I got over it, and yesterday DS/DIL/DD came over for a belated celebration of sorts. We had a nice dinner & visit (some work on my part, but I didn't go all out.)

Next year I will ask ahead of time to go somewhere instead - picnic at the beach or in the mountains, art galleries in the city, or something reasonably priced. IOW, no work for mama :)
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb


I suggested my son and DIL come on Saturday so we could go out for breakfast without the chaos that alway accompanies Mother's Day. Then, on Sunday, I felt sorry for myself!  :D :D :D How predictable is that?
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama