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Teen son blames me for divorce

Started by mebewithem, April 14, 2015, 08:59:15 am

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mebewithem

April 14, 2015, 08:59:15 am Last Edit: April 14, 2015, 05:39:26 pm by luise.volta
Hello, all.  I am brand new to the group.

I found out on Sunday that my 16 year old son blames me for the divorce.  He is cordial and polite to me, thanks me when I do things for him, and does what I ask.  But I fear that he hates me, is angry with me, and is generally "done" with me.

He's lived with his dad for the last year, since we split up.  The Ex and I are still very good friends, so it's not like I haven't been interacting with my son or missing out on his events/activities. 

I guess I'm feeling some guilt and insecurity over my decision from last year.  The Ex keeps assuring me that our son will come around and I just have to be patient.  I'm doing the best I can with that, but still scared to death that I've lost all chances with my boy.

luise.volta

Welcome, M. We ask all new members to go to our HomePage and under Read Me First, to read the five posts placed there for you. Please pay special attention to the Forum Agreement to be sure WWU is a fit. We're a monitored Website. I deleted your first name since we go my our User Names since there are times it may be necessary to to be anonymous. I'm the only exception, since it's my Website and I'm held accountable for it.

My experience isn't going to help you but perhaps others can. To me what you describe a pretty normal 16 year-old. I agree that it is not easy to be blamed but my kids grew out of it. (My 'baby' is 60! My grandkinds and great grandkinds grew out of it, too.) Sending hugs...
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

Pooh

Welcome M.  I agree with Luise.  16 year old boys are hard to read.  Give it some time and just be you.
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell