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I don't understand

Started by lisae, January 07, 2015, 09:24:44 am

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lisae

I'm so happy to find this resource!  It feels so much better to know I'm not alone.
My two adult daughters will have nothing to do with me.  They were my world, I really tried to be the best mom I could.  I don't know what happened.  They have so much anger toward me and say some of the most horrible things you can imagine.  Their dad and I split 4 years ago.  Last year I started dating someone and they went ballistic.  They will not see me, they will not talk to me. I have even offered to seek counseling for all of us to help us with the issues, but they refuse. I'm heartbroken. I love them so much.  Their father died in December.  I tried to help out with everything.  I was constantly turned away.  I was told I was not welcome at their homes or the funeral.  They will not let me see my grandchildren.  That hurts the worst.  They love their grandma and I love all of them.  My world is empty without them.
I'm stepping back.  I can't do this anymore - all the arguing and drama.  I only hope they can one day let go of the anger and want me in their lives.

Stilllearning

Well I have to say you have the first half of the equation right.  The second part?  Enjoy your life!!!  Stop focusing on what you 'have not' and focus on what you have!  If you are still dating that someone you might want to plan some fun outings with him.  Do things you have always wanted to do but could not because of the children or some other silly reason.  It is time to put your happiness first since it is sooooo obvious that trying to fix things hasn't worked and the harder you have tried the more they have resented it.  Your DD's are adults and can choose the things that make them happy in their lives.  Every time you think of them you should remind yourself that they are happy and that is what you wanted most for them.  You did a great job!  Now work on being happy yourself!! 

I know, it sounds so simple.........I wish it were easier!  LOL  Keep trying.  Hugs!
Your mind is a garden your thoughts are the seeds
You can grow flowers or you can grow weeds.
Author unknown

Pooh

Welcome L and exactly what stilllearning said.  Do something you enjoy.  Baby steps.
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

Pen

I agree ^^^

I'm glad you found us.
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb