Author Topic: staying quiet...exploring new territory  (Read 851 times)

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Offline raindrops_on_my_soul

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staying quiet...exploring new territory
« on: October 20, 2014, 07:43:12 PM »
For the first time in five years, I have not called or gone to see my son for a month now. Not surprisingly neither him nor his wife has bothered to ask me why. They both have to know by now something is different, and very wrong. Boy oh boy, do actions speak volumes or what?

Offline Stilllearning

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Re: staying quiet...exploring new territory
« Reply #1 on: October 21, 2014, 04:12:25 AM »
R, I remember those days when I was counting how long I had been silent.  Now I have finally gotten to the point where I don't even think about how long it has been.  My life is full even without my DS and DIL and GC.  I enjoy hearing from them but I no longer measure my life by how they feel.  The change for me happened when I realized just how much contact with them irritated me and how long it took after an interaction for me to return to an even keel.  My life is better when I stay away, period.  Now, all of the sudden, they are contacting me.  Sometimes I do things for them, sometimes not.  Either way I no longer fret about whether they are going to accept me or not, who cares?  I am a big girl, I will be fine either way.
Your mind is a garden your thoughts are the seeds
You can grow flowers or you can grow weeds.
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Offline Pooh

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Re: staying quiet...exploring new territory
« Reply #2 on: October 21, 2014, 07:54:41 AM »
I gave up a year ago caring what my DS or DIL thought.  It actually was very freeing and allowed me to take my life back.  There is life after raising children, you just have to choose to live it.
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

Offline luise.volta

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Re: staying quiet...exploring new territory
« Reply #3 on: October 23, 2014, 05:48:28 PM »
It was really hard for me to put myself in charge of my own happiness. I wanted others to offer the simple things that matter to me. They know what they are and it doesn't take hardly any time of effort. I thought it was mutual. Slowly, one step at a time, I learned to matter to myself.
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

Offline Pen

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Re: staying quiet...exploring new territory
« Reply #4 on: November 10, 2014, 10:48:44 AM »
It isn't easy, but it is doable. It may take awhile, but eventually it becomes a new normal. I still have my moments, still working on it, but I know I'm getting there!
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb