Author Topic: Broken Hearted, Too  (Read 1120 times)

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Offline brokengranny

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Broken Hearted, Too
« on: August 27, 2014, 09:05:38 PM »
I am brand new to this group..I am too are heart broken how do you begin to heal our son,dil and their 6 kids built a house on our property and she left with the kids,dogs,money everything we loaned our son $8000 to get a divorce attorney and 2 days before court they got back together..now they all left out of state left us the bills, the mess,we were told we could never contact them again or our precious grandkids our arms are aching to hold them..they lived here for 3 years we helped raise the kids we thought things were fine until she up and took off how do you walk into a room with out crying..we have had to get real estate attornys the bills are insane they paid none of their bills the phone is ringing off the hook with bill collectors of theirs they still have things in their house the grandkids toys are everywhere..my dil and i did many things together I thought we were close but now I am finding out she never liked me 5 years later really she liked my money!..some days are better than others it feels like someone has died
« Last Edit: August 27, 2014, 09:38:06 PM by luise.volta »

Offline luise.volta

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Re: Broken Hearted, Too
« Reply #1 on: August 27, 2014, 09:50:56 PM »
Welcome B - I have given you your own thread, so you can start to get acquainted.

We ask all new members to go to our HomePage and under Open Me First to read the four posts placed there for you. Please pay special attention to the Forum Agreement to be sure it's a fit. We're a monitored Website.

For me, the hardest thing was to get what what happened and where I found myself was the place to begin. It felt like the end. I was hurt, angry and betrayed and I stayed stuck for quite a while in that place.

To move on, I had to get that I couldn't change the past and that dwelling on the cruelty and abuse wasn't going to help me.

You will get differing responses from other members. That's the blessing of WWU. We're  not a question and answer site. This is an understanding community that shares and cares. Sending hugs...
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

Offline shiny

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Re: Broken Hearted, Too
« Reply #2 on: August 28, 2014, 04:16:42 PM »
Broken,
This is horrible and I'm sorry this has happened to you.

Luise's comment contains much wisdom and I even apply it to my situation.

I think it boils down to:
When our AC betray us -- sometimes suddenly and/or by surprise, we're left in the dark to pick up the pieces, wondering what in the world went wrong? And, sometimes there's no answer.

But we have to press on and move forward.
Otherwise, we'll get stuck in a pit of misery and despair. 
We do have a choice.
Yes, it hurts, and we can still shed tears all the while trying to put our life back in order.

I can't figure out why some people behave the way they do. It's cruel and selfish.
IMO, betrayal and rejection are the most painful of all emotions. Especially from immediate family.

There's lots of wisdom in all the posts of this forum. Read thru some of them, and you'll gather some inspiration and insight to encourage. At least I did. Hugs to you!

Offline Stilllearning

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Re: Broken Hearted, Too
« Reply #3 on: August 29, 2014, 10:21:35 AM »
Oh Broken, something did die!  It was your expectations, your hopes and your dreams.  You have every right to mourn that loss.  Mourning is a very tricky business though.  You can get lost in the process and let it rob you of the happiness the rest of your life might offer. 

I think the most amazing aspect of this website is that it has so many people on it who have been where you are.  Everyone here is somewhere on or at least searching for the path to renewed happiness.  I am sure that you will get many wonderful pointers on finding and staying on that path!!  My best tip is to stop thinking about your DS, DIL and GCs as much as possible.  Try thinking about something that makes you happy and start doing things you enjoy.  What you focus on expands so it is important to focus on things that bring joy to your life. 

Good luck!  You deserve to be treated better, and if they won't do it you have to do it yourself! 
Your mind is a garden your thoughts are the seeds
You can grow flowers or you can grow weeds.
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Offline freespirit

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Re: Broken Hearted, Too
« Reply #4 on: August 31, 2014, 04:08:29 AM »
When adult children desert us, I believe we do go through a mourning period, as if someone has died.  Allow yourself this time. And with time, you will see their actions more  clearly, and ask yourself why you could even miss people  who treat you that way. You will become stronger, deal with the mess they left  behind, pick yourself up,  and march into a freer carefree life.
Wishing  you strength and hopefully support  from your loved ones.
The greatest thing in the world is to know how to belong to oneself.
            -- Michel de Montaigne

Offline Pooh

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Re: Broken Hearted, Too
« Reply #5 on: September 02, 2014, 11:22:57 AM »
Welcome Broken and so sorry they left you in such a bind.  I hope you can figure out a way with your attorney to recoup your losses from them.  If not, then it's a hard lesson learned and something many of us here have done.  Our saying around here is "The Bank of Mom is officially closed!"
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell