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I am Pretty Sure I am Doing the Correct Thing ....

Started by jdtm, July 21, 2014, 06:18:46 am

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A close relative passed away a month ago.  My husband is the executor.  One person is upset that he/she is not included in the will (other members of that particular family were compensated fairly).  I have been sent many, many e-mails (the last 20-30 I would consider to be harassment).  I feel the will is fair.  It does not concern me, and neither my husband nor I are beneficiaries.  So, I told the harassing person that I did not know all of the facts and thus would not be responding to any more e-mails (prior to taking this stance I was trying to "smooth things over" so the family would not break up).  The last few I have deleted without reading.  This person feels that my husband did not influence the now deceased in his/her favour, and also  feels that I am guilty of not influencing my husband.  All the other family members feel the will is equal and fair.  I know I am doing the correct thing but my heart is broken. This situation will probably end the family ties - and I am so sad.  Any suggestions ....


Oh, J., I'm so sorry. My take is that although you were the recipient of that email avalanche, it was 100% about the person who sent it. You can't change him/her or the family dynamics that money (or the lack thereof) seem to be setting in motion. Your attempts to smooth it over have probably made that painfully clear. As hard as it is to watch, the family may be as strong as it's weakest link. Sending hugs...
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama


So sorry jdtm that you are having to deal with this.  I'm afraid I have no suggestions except what you are doing I feel is the correct way.  If the family member wanted to leave this person something, that was their decision, no one else's.  Unfortunately, people become greedy and there is nothing you can do to change them.  Hang in there.
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell