I think there is ALWAYS a reason. It may not be a valid reason, It may just be trumped up in someones mind... but there is always a reason. When a person doesn't want to like you, or accept you.. they can take ANY action or statement and turn it into something it isn't or wasn't meant to be. In my DILs case.. with the help of her mother, sisters and aunties, a huge group think took over and I was scrutinized with the express desire to find something wrong. AND they succeeded. None of it was true, and none of it made any sense, but apparently they were all convinced. How can you win against that? You certainly can't defend yourself against it, when so many are convinced.
As for DS.. Ever hear of Stockholms Syndrome? I sincerely believe many men suffer from this. When they are bombarded over and over and over with the sort of "Evidence" obtained by folks looking for this stuff.. and told over and over all their shortcomings are their mothers fault.. and if it wasn't for her, life would be rosey with no arguments or stress... if only they would admit it was mom who caused it.. I also think that some men have learned to use MOM and their upbringing as an excuse for bad behavior... because it works so well, when their wife is eager to believe such things. I know my son did that for a while. " I'm like this because when I was growing up my mother ________________ (fill in the blank) So there are lots of reasons men go along with this malarky..