Author Topic: AC unaccepting, small break through  (Read 1006 times)

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Offline lokin4answer

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AC unaccepting, small break through
« on: May 07, 2014, 02:27:51 AM »
 :-\  Last week, with the strength I garnered from your acceptance, understanding and advise, I decided to contact my YDD via text asking to let me take my GS for his 6th birthday to celebrate a week early.  She replied with a "yup"...wow...I picked him up at her house, and when I walked into her home, I smiled, and gave her a big hug and kiss.  She had tears in her eye's and seemed genuinely happy to see me.  She asked I bring him home by mid afternoon.  I did, but then ended up spending another three hours at her home playing with my YGS, working in her flower beds, and giving the boys a bath.  We talked about the kids, and work and really had a nice time.

Then my ODD came walking over to do heifer chores with her son and she didn't know I was their.  When she saw me she came over and my GS came running and said, "I know who you are, you are Grandma Gigi".  We talked and I helped her with the chores.

I feel like a made some progress in my relationship with my DD's, but now fear the next development in my life and their reaction.  This summer I am planning on retiring and living between my home here and my friend's home 500 miles away.  I plan on going back and forth at will.  I have never been a free bird, making decisions day by day, doing what seems right at that given moment. 

How do I tell them my plans?  Or do I?  I have mulled it over and over in my head, what is the best way of dealing with this, and come up blank.  I guess I know that regardless of what I say and do, they will be upset and we will all take a step backwards.  Help!!
S. W.

Offline Pooh

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Re: AC unaccepting, small break through
« Reply #1 on: May 07, 2014, 06:56:52 AM »
That's wonderful news!  Congrats on having a nice day, with all of them.

My personal opinion?  I wouldn't say anything about your future plans.  You don't "owe" them any explanations.  I would simply contact them every once in a while, when you are at your place and do what you did this past weekend.  Leave it casual and fun and simply ask if you can do something with the GC.  I assume they have your number if something happened and they needed to contact you?  Or if they asked, I would simply say, "I'm enjoying finally being retired and getting to travel some."  If they want to bash you about it, I wouldn't react.  I would just shrug and say, "I'm happy."

If they want to be mad about what you are doing, they are going to be mad with or without your input.
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

Offline luise.volta

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Re: AC unaccepting, small break through
« Reply #2 on: May 07, 2014, 07:22:58 AM »
I agree with Pooh. Let the future unfold without fear. You deserve some fun and a loving guy. Who knows, you may love being a free bird! They have their lives...you have yours. Enjoy!  :)
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

Offline Cranky Pants

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Re: AC unaccepting, small break through
« Reply #3 on: May 08, 2014, 12:37:08 PM »
Here's my take, you don't need to tell anyone on the planet your plans, how they came to be or whether or not you will change them every 5 minutes if you choose.

Your plans and your future are yours to roll out whenever you see it, it's your universe and you will allow it to unfold as you see fit.

Many people like knowing your plans........knowledge is power.  You could say "Mmmmm I'm still pondering what I'm going to do........making a decision can take sooo much time"......you can also take the humorous route, "Well, I could tell you, but then you would have to pay for EVERYTHING, do you have a bank account with 6 figures, (better make it 7) in it?, or a few dozen credit cards you can lend me?" or "I'm going to sleep 10 hours a day and when I wake up and decide what I'll do, and get on with it".

Sometimes you have to take different routes to keep people so they will their own business.  They can be very persistent.  I think you might be afraid of losing the ground that you have gained, and having to trade your freedom and privacy in return. 

I don't think you have to trade anything.  If they are going to be mad, keep an eye out, it was likely going to happen anyway IMHO.

Enjoy your retirement,
CP