Author Topic: I Just Give Up, I need help!  (Read 2183 times)

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Offline LadyStar

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I Just Give Up, I need help!
« on: April 24, 2013, 04:16:52 PM »
 :'(Thought life was getting better and sorry this will be a "in the dumps" post, but I am at my wits end and honestly today is one of those days where I don't care if the sun comes up or not.  Do I mean that probably not, but I cannot see myself clear to get out of this other than to quietly buy or rent a place, move my stuff out and then just abandon the house and let the S and DIL just have it.  If the back takes it fine, I don't care anymore because I cannot live this way much longer.

i thought I could take the situation, put up with the attitude, begging for those little morsels of kindness every once is a while, but I can't.   Thought it was mostely the DIL but it as much her as S, they seem to feed on each other.  My health is suffering, I cry a lot, I am getting back to being depressed and there is no way out.

I am not strong enought to get them out, I am too afraid to push, and I am just not nasty enought to put children in the street which is what would happen.  But it is never enough.  My S who I have trusted all my l life I find out is not the wonderful boy I think he is, he is a devious and lying as the DIL, and he could give a darn about how I am or if what he says huts me or not.

I am so far in debt I will never get out, many I should just go see a lawyer and say, listen I need to get out of this, here is the situation what do I do.  I have thousands in this house, but now that they have moved in I know it will cost thousands to fix the mess that I will find when they leave.  Why was I so stupid to let them back in here, and knowing that the DIL has absolutely no use for me, hates me and is only pretending.

What a sap I am, but what do I do now.   I thought I had this under control, but I don't I get talked to like I am dirt.  Absolutely no respect.

Sorry but I really need to unload as I am about to loose it.   This is not a pitty party folks, it is someone who just does not know what to do, who is scared, who is retirement age and cannot, who is not physically able to do a lot and feels that my back us up against a wall.
 :'(

Offline Evalyn

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Re: I Just Give Up, I need help!
« Reply #1 on: April 24, 2013, 04:53:13 PM »
Dear Lady Star,

You have every reason to feel upset. This is very difficult situation indeed.  First of all, if you can afford it, it might be useful to consult a lawyer, or find out if there is a free support service.

the UK we have the Citizens Advice Bureau, I don't know if there is one where you live.

There may be a way out of this situation you haven't thought of. Perhaps there is enough money in your house to buy you a small retirement place, with enough over to give your DS a deposit to get a mortgage.

There are some very helpful caring people here, who will know much more than I do.

Please do feel free to come here, to share your feelings, we do care and will listen, without judging in any way. The lady who started this site, Luise, will, I am sure, have comforting words for you.

You are not alone LadyStar.

Love Evalyn




Offline Beth 2011

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Re: I Just Give Up, I need help!
« Reply #2 on: April 24, 2013, 04:59:41 PM »
Lady Star,

I have read your threads and it is very difficult to realize that our children are not what we have in our own minds to be.  It is very hurtful and shocking at times.  But you sound like a fighter.  I know you're tired but you have still pushed through and are seeing that things may not be as you thought.  Maybe a good nights sleep somewhere else and a couple of days to think about your plan of action might help.  Wishing you peace.

Offline Evalyn

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Re: I Just Give Up, I need help!
« Reply #3 on: April 24, 2013, 05:24:57 PM »
Lady Star,

I have read your threads and it is very difficult to realize that our children are not what we have in our own minds to be.  It is very hurtful and shocking at times.  But you sound like a fighter.  I know you're tired but you have still pushed through and are seeing that things may not be as you thought.  Maybe a good nights sleep somewhere else and a couple of days to think about your plan of action might help.  Wishing you peace.

That is such a good post, Beth is right, some time away from your home, if only for one night would be helpful.

Offline luise.volta

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Re: I Just Give Up, I need help!
« Reply #4 on: April 24, 2013, 07:04:02 PM »
Duplicate Post: I need to let you know that it sounds to me like you are in crisis, ill, disabled and in danger This site is not set up for that kind of situation. We clearly state that in our Forum Agreement. You write about not caring if you live or die and of being afraid and abused. We aren't professionals here. We know nothing of the resources where you live…if there is a crisis line, if your employer, the police or social and health welfare can help you or if you can go to a home for someone being domestically battered because that's what it sounds like to me…like you are cornered. When you have no friends to support you and no where to turn…a website of this type is not the answer. Something concrete and definite needs to be done immediately. We could misinform you and make things worse. For that reason, I am closing this thread. Get help…and get it immediately. We all send you our very best.
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama