Author Topic: it's a small world after all  (Read 4077 times)

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Offline stilltrying2010

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it's a small world after all
« on: January 29, 2013, 06:35:47 AM »
I feel I have really been on a healing path lately with my mil.  I have been annoyed but not furious
In general, good.  Last week my husband and I decided on a family vacation to visit the mouse in fl.  He asks if I would like to invite my parents.  It would not be their type of thing to do, both work ft, one owns his own business, both provide elder care for their parent, nor would they want to shell out the $$.  My dh knows this.  Dh grew up visiting disney every other year, mil went with Gail numerous times with her kids.  so dh says since my parents don't want to go, maybe he will invite his mom she probably won't be able to anyway.  I speak my reservations, her health, ggc comparisons, costs.  He says it'll make her feel good to at least be asked.  He specifically told her it was so she could be with our kids and get to know them and that gsil wasn't invited (I was glad he said this since he felt it in his heart, and usually just takes it in)
 
 They said yes.   THEY WILL BE THERE WITH US THE WHOLE TIME.  I am so full of dread... And just when I felt like I was moving forward.  Mil posted a pic of our kids from like a year and a half ago on fb why??  Now I worry abt what she'll b posting after this vacation... I feel like there will be people there critiquing us then gossiping to dh too how we spend xx or didn't make our 7 yr old go on x ride or whatever.

Pretty much I am spiralling out of control with fears, repeats of past occurrences, etc with the voyeurs into our lives... I need a shakeup, slap down, reality check something to get me to a peaceful place about this.   

What is tlit they say about the road to hell being paved with good intentions?  Help me ladies!!

Offline luise.volta

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Re: it's a small world after all
« Reply #1 on: January 29, 2013, 08:09:18 AM »
S - Since it's been set in motion…I can't see any kind way got get around it. Going through may be OK. There are some good intentions involved. If you can let go of the Facebook thing…old pictures or new just seem to be part of your MIL's pattern and we all know here that worse things happen. We will walk with you…you can count on that. Sending love...
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

Offline Scoop

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Re: it's a small world after all
« Reply #2 on: January 29, 2013, 10:14:00 AM »
Hmmm ST - I think I need more information. What are the sleeping arrangements?  How old are the kids?  You said "they" would come, who is "they"?  Are you staying right IN WDW?

1 - You can ask FB to remove unauthorized pictures of your kids.  Sure, go ahead and ask MIL to NOT post pics of your kids, but you have no control over that.  Well, FB will help you out.

2 - Luise is the one who turned me onto this saying (paraphrased) "It's none of your business what other people think of you."  And it's true.  It doesn't matter what MIL's FB friends say about YOUR trip to WDW.  They're not you and they don't know your kids.  They don't know your bank account information, so they can spout whatever 'opinions' they have.  Opinions are like bums, we all have one and we all think that ours doesn't stink!

What helps me when I feel "out of control" is to plan or schedule as much as I *do* have control over. 

If you're staying in the resort, then you really have a lot more flexibility.  You can plan mornings at the park, afternoons in the pool and evenings back at the parks. 

Make your reservations for your character dining ASAP and then plan your days according to what park you need to be in for which reservation.

You can check out the rides and see which ones are 'appropriate' for your kid's ages.  Although, I can't recommend the Toy Story ride at Universal Studios ENOUGH (for ALL ages) - go super early, get a fast pass and then stand in line so that you can go twice.  You'll want to go twice!  All of the fast passes are gone by 11 - that's how popular of a ride it is.

Don't worry, she won't be able to ruin your vacation, because you won't let her.  It's the happiest place on Earth after all!

Offline Pooh

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Re: it's a small world after all
« Reply #3 on: January 29, 2013, 12:28:54 PM »
I also think the more I dread something ahead of time and imagine all the different things that could go wrong, the more apt I am to find fault with the itty bitty tiny things quickly.  It's almost like since I'm waiting for all the bad to happen, the smallest thing makes me go "See, I knew it!"

So try to relax and instead of thinking about all the negatives, concentrate on the positives.  I do agree with Scoop, that having some plan of actions ahead of time will help the vacation stay on track with how you and DH want it to go.
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

fangle

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Re: it's a small world after all
« Reply #4 on: February 11, 2013, 05:10:45 PM »
Hello,
You sound a ball of nerves, my friend.  You seem aggitated at the approach DH took toward inviting MIL, but I wouldn't think too much of it.  I think you are looking back over the whole situation with an anxious heart.  The saying "plan for the worse and hope for the best" springs to mind.  You are certainly covering your bases.  I feel that you need to do something nice - just for you - treat yourself.  Relax.  Don't worry about the holiday.  In fact, once you have planned it - don't even think about it until you are travelling there, then just enjoy.  Get DH to watch the kids and take photos while you and MIL go on the craziest ride together and get a photo of it to giggle at.  If you like, offer to put that on her Facebook - the two of you being silly and having fun.  That's what it is all about. 
Good Luck!

Offline luise.volta

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Re: it's a small world after all
« Reply #5 on: February 11, 2013, 05:54:29 PM »
  :)  Amen, F.!   :)
« Last Edit: February 12, 2013, 07:39:04 AM by luise.volta »
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

Offline Pooh

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Re: it's a small world after all
« Reply #6 on: February 12, 2013, 07:07:28 AM »
Love that fangle!
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

Offline stilltrying2010

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Re: it's a small world after all
« Reply #7 on: February 12, 2013, 02:27:57 PM »
I have so enjoyed the responses :). I'm so glad the resort has free WiFi so I can pull this up to keep my head on straight.  Not going to give it much thought before I go.  Fangle, imagining my Mil doing those things made me lol, as she acts "old" not to insult any older people.
We don't travel until after school lets out for summer vacation so it'll be a bit before I can let you all know how it goes :). Thanks so much for hearing me and bringing me back down  :)

fangle

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Re: it's a small world after all
« Reply #8 on: February 20, 2013, 09:12:56 PM »
I'm so glad to hear that you are feeling a bit better about it.  It should be something to look forward to.  Especially for the children.  I wouldn't worry about FB so much.  It is just a giant noticeboard afterall, but it seems to unravel the best of us.  There are so many privacy settings you can use these days, but it just seems to bring out the worst in people.  It is a giant catch 22.  I would just let it slide unless you are worried about the safety of your children.  I can't wait to hear how your adventure turns out! Good Luck!
« Last Edit: February 21, 2013, 06:39:00 AM by luise.volta »

fangle

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Re: it's a small world after all
« Reply #9 on: February 20, 2013, 10:26:13 PM »
Please forgive me, what I meant to say in my previous post was that 'I' would let it slide, I did not mean to suggest that you should do anything.... I am unsure of how to edit and I did not read over what I had written before I had written it, and I will not make that mistake again.  You have my unreserved apologies.

fangle

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Re: it's a small world after all
« Reply #10 on: February 20, 2013, 10:29:05 PM »
Funnily enough, I did just read over what I had posted and I didn't notice that I wrote before instead of after, so I am not infallible.... I am blushing right now..... xo

Offline luise.volta

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Re: it's a small world after all
« Reply #11 on: February 21, 2013, 06:45:36 AM »
F - Corrected. Mistakes happen and you are really sensitive to even notice. Have another cup of coffee and relax. This isn't a Website where perfection is expected. If it were, I wouldn't be able to post on my own site! Sending love...
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

Offline Pooh

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Re: it's a small world after all
« Reply #12 on: February 26, 2013, 07:42:44 AM »
No way!  If we had the "Grammer and Spelling Police" here.....I would have been sentenced a long time ago to life without parole!
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

fangle

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Re: it's a small world after all
« Reply #13 on: February 28, 2013, 04:43:00 AM »
Thanks Luise, I should develop a thicker skin - especially since Pooh and I are about to start our sentences in grammar prison.... hahaha....

Offline Pen

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Re: it's a small world after all
« Reply #14 on: February 28, 2013, 11:32:44 PM »
National Grammar Day is March 4!

http://www.daysoftheyear.com/days/grammar-day/
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb