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"Welcome to WiseWomenUnite.com -- When adult children marry and leave home, life can sometimes get more complex instead of simpler.  Being a mother-in-law or daughter-in-law can be tough.  How do we extend love and support to our mothers-in-law, adult children, daughters-in-law, sons-in-law, and grandchildren without interfering?  What do we do when there are communication problems?  How can we ask for help when we need it without being a burden?  And how do our family members feel about these issues?  We invite you to join our free forum, read some posts... and when you're ready...share your challenges and wisdom."


New Here

Started by sparky, July 07, 2012, 12:57:42 am

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sparky

Hello, I am new here, I have been reading here for awhile but have not posted until now. I am 49 years old and mom to 7 daughters and 1 son, my oldest is 32  and my youngest is 6. I have 4 grandchildren. I have read a lot on here where it says you were a your own person before you had kids, you can be again, but I was 15 when I got pregnant with my first child so I really wasnt yet my own person, not really, I grew up with my kids. I wouldn't recommend doing it that way! I used to think it was a blessing to have 7 daughters, but if you ask me today I would say to much drama! I do have a very close relationship with all but 2 daughters.  I have 5 adult children, and 3 still at home. I found this website after having a falling out with my second to the oldest daughter who is 30. I hadn't seen her for a year because she lives out of state, she came to visit with her 2 children, her visit did not go well at all and we have not spoken since she left except for 2 emails.  I also am not close with my 22 year old daughter she is my 4th child, our relationship is almost non existant. She didnt call me on mothers day, I finally mentioned it to her a couple weeks ago and she said she doesnt have a mother daughter bond with me and so why would she call. That was very hurtful but did not surprise me. The 2 daughters have I am not close to are both very much a like in their personalities, very self centered and everything is always about them. When my father was in the hospital, we had just found out he had cancer, my daughter (22 yr old) stopped by to see him, said she could only stay 15 minutes because she was leaving on vacation, and walked out of the hospital room 15 min later to go on vacation. I was a mess, and she was going on vacation. Not sure how to do the abbreviations since I have sooo many daughters, maybe someone can help me with an idea for that LOL   I will get more into my story at a later time, I just wanted to introduce myself and start to join in here, you all are so supportive of each other and I would love to be a part of that  :)

pam1

Welcome Sparky :)

Please take a moment to read the highlighted topics in the category Open Me First.  We ask all new members to do so in order to get a feel for WWU and how we came about.

Glad you found us!

How is your father doing?
People throw rocks at things that shine - Taylor Swift

Elise

Oh my gosh Sparky -7 daughters - talk about a sea of estrogen!!! There are so many wise women here - both moms and daughters, I am sure you will find tidbits to assist you on your journey. I am sorry the 2 daughters you mention are not close at this time.

I have learned some people just cannot handle hospitals, dementia,  nursing homes, etc. It can appear heartless, and may be something else. Not mine to judge. 

constantmargaret

I had a similar situation when my father was dying in the hospital. My daughter who lived with me (26) never once visited him with me, or on her own. She worked in a nursing home, but said she couldn't deal with it because it was Grampa.

After his death, I told her I was hurt, and she felt bad. When my mother was sick recently, she did better, but hasn't followed through on her promise to visit or to mow her lawn occasionally.

They grow up painfully slow.

Sometimes it feels like our adult children see us older folks as accessories to their lives to be taken out and worn when the occasion suits them, then stuffed back in, practically forgotten, until the next time. The occasion usually suits them on gift giving holidays.  ;)

Doe

Welcome Sparky!

I'm glad you found the time to get on the computer with everything that's going on in your life!
 
I also found that even adult children can't handle the ravages and problems of old age - heck, it's hard for us, too.  My MIL lived with us for 5 years,  mild dementia, and her OS didn't visit until she was dying.

Maybe you could do DD1, DD2, DD3, etc to help us sort them all out.

Again, welcome and looking forward to your stories!

luise.volta

S - Welcome! And you are already a part of this community the minute you carefully read the Forum Agreement and agree. :-) We are all working on similar issues and it seems to help. D - Great idea regarding numbering dear daughters!
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

luise.volta

S - Did you find it?
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

sparky

Quote from: luise.volta on July 08, 2012, 12:12:51 pm
S - Did you find it?


yes, I meant to put it in sons and daughters, i posted in the wrong scection so I couldnt find it, thank you :) 


sparky

Quote from: pam1 on July 07, 2012, 01:33:23 am
Welcome Sparky :)

Please take a moment to read the highlighted topics in the category Open Me First.  We ask all new members to do so in order to get a feel for WWU and how we came about.

Glad you found us!

How is your father doing?


Thank you :)  I read the open me first when I joined. I am glad I found you all too!  I posted in the wrong section, I mean to post my first post in the daughters/son section.  My dad is doing really good! He has multiple myloma for 3 years now but is doing good.

luise.volta

The categories are there more for convenience than regimentation.  ;) Moderators move them sometimes to see that the thread get better exposure...but often our topics overlap. Sending love...
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

Footloose

Welcome Sparky!  Glad you are with us and have found our family of sisterhood:)

hugs!

herbalescapes

Seven daughters - isn't it obvious?  Happy, Sleepy, Bashful, Doc, Grumpy, Sneezy and Dopey!

Elise

Herbal    perfect - lol

Footloose

HAHAHA!@ 7 dwarfs:)  Sparkey, maybe u should...change your WWU name to Snow White?  LOL!

sparky

Quote from: Footloose on July 10, 2012, 11:59:29 am
HAHAHA!@ 7 dwarfs:)  Sparkey, maybe u should...change your WWU name to Snow White?  LOL!


Thats funny!!