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"Letters we would love to send, but won't"

Started by luise.volta, June 02, 2012, 03:12:53 pm

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This is the place! We get to say it how it is here and it will go no further... Sending love...
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama


this is going to be one of the best threads ever.


We get to thank Lilly...it was her brainstorm!
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama


I would love to take the credit, but Doe thought of it first.  She gets the kudos for this!


Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama


I think this topic is a great idea since we've seen moms post their heartfelt letters before under another category.

However, I don't think I'm ready to do that yet since I'd probably start feeling badly again.  But maybe sometime.....

I'll be looking forward to reading them from others for now.  I know this will be a great release....

"When you allow life to flow... without struggle... your Soul is restored."   ~z2z~


Only do it if it would help. Sending love...
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

Keys Girl

I've been watching one of the Shriver sons talk about his father and his book in the last week and he mentioned that his father constantly sent him letters almost every day of his life......with love and encouragement.

I've been thinking that I'll start writing a letter or two (not emails) to leave for my son after I'm gone.  I have scads of happy photos of him, many with me from the first days of his life until the last few years and I think I will including the letters.

It may be that when I leave the planet, he won't feel a thing, that he resentment and hostility will have eaten away any positive memories and he'll just junk everything.......however, if he has any trace of regret, it will be too late for him to reach me, but I could still reach out to him and leave him some letters about what I hope he does with his life, his children, his memories of me and leave him with a few less regrets and perhaps a word or phrase that will prove to be a star to steer by.

"Today I will be as happy as a seagull with a french fry." Author Unknown


KG - that's a great way to ensure you get the last word in!


I think that's a great idea KG.  I think I will do that too and hopefully, if he ever reads them, he will always know he was loved, no matter what and I wanted the best for him.
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

Keys Girl

Quote from: herbalescapes on June 15, 2012, 06:00:42 am
KG - that's a great way to ensure you get the last word in!

I don't know that the last word is important, I have no way of know that he won't throw everything except money into a firepit, but if my any chance some of the love and affection and the values that I taught him early in his life still have some impact on is life, he may read them.  I have an image of him weeping over a box of the photos, notes, cards and letters that I kept that he sent me, once I've left the planet.  I know so many people who wished they could have made amends or at least had some kind of relationship with their parents once they were gone.

If I leave him something that might have a positive impact, I'm hoping it might become the last piece of the puzzle of our relationship and if it doesn't turn around in my lifetime, maybe it will afterwards.

"Today I will be as happy as a seagull with a french fry." Author Unknown


Sorry for the repeat but heck, it goes on this thread?
DS Name, my only child, my son,

I put you first from the day u were born until the day you left, over 20 years from the time I learned of you and later felt u move inside me.  It was the very best thing that EVER happened in my life and I so enjoyed being your mom and dad.  It was like breathing to me.  So automatic, natural and expected.

I was too young and should have probably waited, chose a better father for sure but you found your time to be born and fate chose your heritage.  I have no regrets because out of it all came you, my son.  I put my life on hold for you for 20 years, all of my early adulthood was yours and yours alone.

My generation has raised a group of self absorbed emotionally very immature now 'adults'.  Apparently we have loved not wisely but too well in some ways.
I evidently have NOT met your expectations either and for that I am sorry.   

So now after being rejected by you, it has taken my spiritual breath away but I will get better in time.  I'll just keep moving at a harried pace to out run the pain and loss this whole thing has created for me.  When it does catch up with me, like today, i find it so hard just to bear the pain.  the loss that was intentional on your part.  Worse than death because the separations were and have been on purpose.  Maybe to punish me for imperfections and pure, good intentions?

After years of mistreatment from you, I must let you go because the pain of rejection and absence is too great!  Way worse than my illness and anything that came before it.  I never imagined this would happen...again?!

I WILL meet you in spirit, always in my heart but your threats and actions to put me out of your life have controlled me far too long.  I have to move on or die from this broken heart.  Seems like I have been held hostage, waiting for a chance to really connect with you and your beautiful family.  So so very sad that family does not include me anymore.

Kiss my grandsons for me and hold them a long time, as long as you can.  I miss them dearly! I will hold onto my fond memories of them and you forever.  I already know I will be excluded from baby girl's birth announcements in June and seeing her sweet, brand new, little face.

I will NEVER end my love for you.  I loved u from the very start and that will remain.  You can stop punishing me as I am gone but know I am there, inside you forever.



Oh Margaret - I needed to laugh
Oh Footloose - the tears were just not stopping until I veered to laughter, Margaret stood in for your normally everpresent dose of humor.
Your last line, last words of the letter - maybe are a key for me and others. We are in their heads and they have chosen ways and means so contrary to what we taught them they cannot stand to see us, as our very physical beings or even voices require them to engage with what they can try to put away and never can - we are there in their minds and hearts forever, nothing changes that.  My mother used to say ' From your cradle to my grave(and beyond depending on belief system)" referring to her love for her children.

Maybe, no not maybe, for sure, it applies to almost all our dc - I should have told him from a young age a variation - "I am in your heart and spirit forever - nothing you can do changes that, ever, so if there comes a time you think you can change that in yourself, look much more closely and deeply and keep it right between us (and here's my mom again) "so that it may go well with thee."  Boy, guess my mom is sitting on my shoulder right now!!


Cmarge!  LOL!!

Dear Son,
Greetings from sunny Belize!

Because you cut me off with the time out, I have more money than I thought.  Guess me buying stuff for you and your family every other month really took a hit on the ol budget?! 

Just wanted to say thanks for the time out as it really has made me liquid again in the financial dept.

P.S.  i hope you learned from me on planning for retirement as you will need to do this as well.  I plan to croak broke!  ya can't take it with ya!