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MIL wants GS to call her.......

Started by lovelymimi, May 02, 2012, 01:18:32 pm

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lovelymimi

"little mommy".......


I have a 9 month old son. While I understand some GMs don't like the term "grandmom", am I wrong for not wanting DS to refer to her as "little mommy"?????

I'm not sure if she means anything by it, but it feels like yet another area she's trying to compete with me in... I hope my feelings aren't true.

BTW, I'm training my son to call me mommy.

jill1963

hi lovelymimi,

No you are not wrong in not wanting your MIL  to be referred to as "little mommy". I cannot understand why she would suggest that. there are many variations on being called Grandmom i would insist she think of one of them.
I myself am called Nan or Nanny which although Nanny makes me sound like a goat i prefer to Grandma, i am a relatively young GP at only 49 years old  :).
What does your DH think? and will he point out to his DM that she will have to pick another GP name?  ( am sure he wouldn't like it if his DF expected to be called "little Daddy")
Your son needs to call you Mommy and at 9 months he doesn't need more confusion with calling someone else that (be it with the little before it or not)
Good luck in sorting your dilemma out x
Jill

Pen

Yikes, now I've heard everything! Unless it's some sort of cultural norm in GM's country of origin, I'd say the term "little mommy" for a grandmother is not OK.
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

NewMama

I've heard a lot of terms for grandmother, but never "little mommy". My MIL will call herself mommy when talking to my son (and then look directly at me and go "oops, I mean Nana"). I'm not entirely convinced it's a slip of the tongue either...

Refer to her as whatever you think is appropriate for a grandmother name with your son. If she says anything I'd let her know "little mommy" is not going to fly and if she doesn't pick something else she's going to get stuck with whatever you want it to be. That being said, a lot of kids come up with their own names once they start talking. My dear GF was "grampy" til my brother started talking, then he was something totally different that came from a phrase he used to say to my brother (who is the 2nd oldest grandchild). It stuck and totally suited him.

lancaster lady

Little mommy will totally confuse this little boy .
She is not his mommy , big or little , just say NO .
She's had her turn of being a Mom , and being a GM is absolutely wonderful , why would
she want to avoid the title .
We have an Italian surname , so I am Nona and my DH is Papa , and we love it .

lovelymimi

Yes, I have heard of cultural norms like "nona". I'm okay with that, and am also okay with names like "nanna" or "granny"... DH is not okay with it. I just asked him and he said he didn't like it either and already told her not to use that name cause it would confuse DS. Problem solved...

I just wanted to make sure I wasn't being overly sensitive about it.

pam1

What little baby is going to be able to say that???  What a mouthful!  I just cracked myself up with the possible things that a toddler might say while trying to say "little mommy."

IMO, I would have DH talk to her and try to direct her to pick a new name.  It's been my experience that grandchildren in the family usually pick the name, but I've learned here that it is not uncommon for grandparents to pick the name they would like.  DH should be able to take this one and handle it.
People throw rocks at things that shine - Taylor Swift

lovelymimi

Thank goodness DH already talked to her, and I didn't even have to say anything which is what I prefer. Now I hope that we don't have even more tention b/c GS won't be calling her little mommy....

Doe

lol - I totally disagree.  I think the G'mom should be called whatever she wants.  I really doubt that your son will mistake who is the mom!

FWIW, I've heard of a southern grandpa called "Big Daddy" and there's always "Big Mama".    It'll be a while before it takes effect anyway (he has to start talking, right?). 

There are so many other things to fight about in families - I wouldn't put this one high on the list, myself.


Beth 2011

I agree with Doe, really???  GM should be called whatever she wants to be called we called my DM Little Mama and DGM Big Mama for years.  We were never confused as children about who our DM was.   I don't think things have changed that much.   

lovelymimi

Quote from: Beth 2011 on May 03, 2012, 04:20:56 pm
we called my DM Little Mama and DGM Big Mama for years.  We were never confused as children about who our DM was.   I don't think things have changed that much.   



Hi Doe,
I noticed you wrote "we called my DM little mama". I wonder if it would have made a difference to your mom if you called her MIL that name. LOL it might have made a difference. I also wonder if your DGM was your DMs mother or your fathers...and what kind of relationship they had. Not for nothin, but I bet that made a difference as well.

Anywho. different strokes for different folks... I'm glad I'm not the only one who found "little mommy" to be a little out there.

Doe

Actually, that was Beth who wrote that.

I'm a GM who asked to not be called one name (bad associations with it) and that's the one my DIL wanted to call me (good associations for her).   She would start to call me that name, then correct herself over and over and over.

I don't think the names are as important as the feeling behind them.  My sons called me different names as they grew up and one still changes it around - but whatever works in your family is most important.

lovelymimi


pam1

This reminded me of when my DD used to call me by my first name and the daycare provider (she had her own children at the center too) "Mommy."  It didn't really get to me, I knew DD was calling her Mommy because she heard the other kids calling her that.  And she heard everyone else calling me Pam.  I also have a twisted sense of humor so it would crack me up.

But that's true, Doe.  It is the feeling behind a family name that is more important. 

For me it's something I wouldn't like that someone was planning on being called but like I said above, if it happened naturally it probably wouldn't be as bad.  For myself anyway. 
People throw rocks at things that shine - Taylor Swift

Beth 2011

Hi Mimi,

It was my DM's Mother.  It was just something that happened naturally that we as children called them because we were calling them both Mama because we heard my DM calling her DM Mama all the time.  I didn't mean to upset you because it just struck me funny that this is an issue.  And my DM and my DF's DM always got along very well.  My DF's DM adored my DM.  I can't say how she would have reacted if it had been the other way around but I assume that it would not have been a problem.  I believe this came about because we saw our GP's all the time growing up and were always close.  My DF's DM lived out of state for awhile and then moved back and we had already set in stone what we were calling them.  Everyone on both sides saw each other all the time .  We were made up of many extended families too.