My DIL the Drama Queen!

[justanoldgrandma]

DIL is immature, self-centered, but her foo is so close and pretty much the same as she is!  (Codependent)  There is lots of drama and hard feelings in her foo.....we aren't built that way.  Thank goodness never had the drama of the OP!  We avoid drama a lot!

[Pooh]

Yeah, I don't get that.  My DIL's FOO are always fighting too.  Mine never fight and just shrug and go on, roll with the flow.  Maybe it goes back to the squeaky wheel.  We could drive ourselves bonkers speculating.

[pam1]

Hey!  That's the same over here, amazing the similarities.  DHs FOO is always fighting.  I said it to them once and they claimed they liked stress lol.

[Lillycache]

Not my DILs FOO.... they are all joined at the hip.  Early in his marriage my son made the comment that the only thing her family argues about is who loves each other more.  lol!!   How do you even think about fitting into or being included in that?

[Pooh]

It is odd.  I can't tell you how many times, when DIL and OS were dating and she would be at the house, her phone would ring and it would be her Mother.  She was constantly mad because her Mom was telling her on her way home to stop and grab milk, bread and her Dad some tobacco.  She was always complaining about how they made her do stuff like that.  Would say, "Mom doesn't work, sits on her hiney all day and then makes me go to the store and stuff.  I can't wait until I'm not living around here and she has to do it herself."   Then they move 5 miles from her!

She also play softball all the way through school.  She traveled for a year with a college team that was really good.  Tournaments every weekend, in some state or another.  Her Mother would go to all of them, and then when she quit playing, handed her the credit card bill she had ran up traveling with them telling her she had to pay it off because it was her expense.  What???  OS and DIL were angry about it.  Then they move 5 miles from her!

[lancaster lady]

Well , well, well , we have a link ! My dil foo argue all the time !  She says its normal in their house . Well my friends ,.not in my house ! We never have shouting , slanging matches . I hate that atmosphere . So is this a common denominater amongst us ?

[Pooh]

Lilly says not in hers, but so far, 3-4?   Mine never scream, shout or yell either.  Hmmm....

[Lillycache]

Lilly says not in hers, but so far, 3-4?   Mine never scream, shout or yell either.  Hmmm....

I have been at several events organized and hosted by my DILs FOO.  Their wedding shower, the baby shower and two baby Christenings.  They catered it themselves and organized the cooking and serving in the kitchen.  It was like 10 women operating from the same body!  Everyone knew what to do and how to work together without hardling communicating.  Of course they did, they had been together doing this stuff for decades.  I offered to help, and was told there was nothing for me to do.  Just go sit down and enjoy myself.  I offered to help clean up, and was told the same thing.  I felt like a guest, not the mother of the groom/father/etc.   I was out of place.   I know they thought it was nice of them to do the work and for me to sit.. OR perhaps they talked about me afterward and how lazy and unhelpful I was... who knows.   These women form a tight wall around their family.  My son is now their family and knows how to fit in with them.  As a woman, I was not allowed to participate.  I guess I would only have gotten in the way of their well oiled machine.  They were always polite to me, but I just felt awkward. 

[luise.volta]

It get it and know it must have felt awful. (However, I am lazy and just love it when someone tells me they don't need me and to go sit down.)

[Pen]

Not my DILs FOO.... they are all joined at the hip.  Early in his marriage my son made the comment that the only thing her family argues about is who loves each other more.  lol!!   How do you even think about fitting into or being included in that?

I'm sorry, but that's a bit nauseating, lol. Do they have matching holiday sweaters too?

[Pen]

Oh, forgot to chime in on the fighting poll - DIL's FOO has major drama and constant battles amongst the aunties and ILs. Someone is always being cut off or shunned. We don't even know these people but we've heard all about how awful they are (kind of makes us like them, lol.) DIL's DM is not a happy woman; she instigates a lot of the fighting, apparently.

[forever spring]

Not my DILs FOO.... they are all joined at the hip.  Early in his marriage my son made the comment that the only thing her family argues about is who loves each other more.  lol!!   How do you even think about fitting into or being included in that?

I'm sorry, but that's a bit nauseating, lol. Do they have matching holiday sweaters too?

I can just see them all wearing those Kitty sweaters and hugging trees.
There is a touch of humour in this thread which made me laugh first thing in the morning and boy do I need that! 
I agree with Luise, why not revel in the peace and quiet and really enjoy yourself doing nothing - it wasn't your choice, you offered.

Nothing weirder than folks and humour is the best way of dealing with it, otherwise we are heading for a premature demise and that's not worth it, is it girls? Here is fighting on against the odds - yours FS

[Pooh]

Great!  Now I have that image in my head FS! ha ha ha

[pam1]

LOL forever spring. 

They really thought I lost my mind when I told them the fighting was exhausting at holidays.  I'm the weird one.  Oh!  And I don't get along with women, forgot that little nugget I was told.  That's funny because I get along with my FOO, never had fighting on a holiday ever, no one screams or yells, none of that stuff ever happens.  I have friends, kept friends from childhood and I was told that to be a part of their family I should cancel my plans with my friends for even minor family events, no matter what.  It didn't matter if I was told last minute (see the key word, told...not invite) I should cancel on my friend to go with the family.  I said I thought that would be rude to my friends and if my presence was important than I would gladly go with enough notice or if it didn't conflict with any prior plans.  I was then told putting family first was probably personal growth I needed to work on LOL.

Then they complain they can't make or keep friends.  Go figure.

I want nothing of this little clique.  It reminds me of middle school, no thanks!

[artlady]

Just had a thought , I think they should have a new reality show or two. MIL of ______   and DIL/Sil of ___________-  just like they do the Housewives of __________. I think it would be a great hit , some of us could all send in scripts to use .