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Sad news.

Started by Glenda, December 06, 2011, 05:55:28 AM

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Scoop

Butterflies!  I've had several occasions since my Dad died where we were doing something fun as a family and a butterfly came and fluttered around us for a bit.  I still think it was him checking in on us.

I also think that the saying "What the caterpillar considered the End, to the butterfly, was only the Beginning" really applies when a loved one dies.  We can't wrap our heads around what happens after we die, in the same that a caterpillar can't fathom being a butterfly and FLYING!

Glenda, I hope that you don't think we're hijacking your thread.  I hope that you feel that you're in a community here, that understands what you're going through.

I had a friend who's Dad died just about a year after my Dad did.  We went out for lunch and she was comforted by the fact that I was STILL sad about my Dad.  I hope you feel the same comfort.

Pen

Glenda, my thoughts are with you. My mom passed away 30 years ago, and I still want to call her with a funny story or anecdote. The raw pain subsided, but my memories are still clear and she feels close at the times I need her most. (((hugs)))
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

Chrisky

I'm sorry for your loss Glenda.  My Mother passed away 8 years ago at the age of 90.  I still miss her very much, and once in a while when something happens I'll think to myself that I have to call her and let her know.  When she first passed away, I would talk to her every day and I always felt that somehow she was listening.

Gidget

Sorry for you loss Glenda.  My dad passed on Christmas Even many years ago and I still miss him a lot.  One of my friend told me a story about finding dimes when you think of a dear departed person and everytime I miss my dad I keep finding dimes.  I now have a little pile of them.

Elise

Glenda - I know it had to be a difficult Xmas for you without your beloved father. I read how much you loved him and your eyes and hearts spoke lots. He was blessed to have his family with him through his passing. While we can never know on this side just what the next transition of our spirits and souls is exactly, I feel strongly we all have the loved ones gone ahead with us in our hearts so often. Listen for the ittle nudges and voices or happenings that let you know he is near.

My mom passed in March 2011, and it was so peaceful.  For me it was a relief as she was suffering and there was no possibility of improvement.  It made it easier to let her go, the suffering was very hard to watch.  When my dad died in 2003 , he and I knew he was going soon a few months before he died (medical stuff he didn't want shared with anyone else) and we had lots of time to talk together alone, him expressing his concerns for my mom and asking me to take care of her.  He was also so peaceful, though not suffering.  Before he died and because I believe in the whole quantum physics thing, I asked him to turn out street lights for me when I was driving at night.  The first weeks and months after his death, while I shuttled back and forth the 15 miles between my mom's and my home, I many times watched a streetlight go out  just as I would be getting to one.  At one point there were few left lit those weeks on that road.  Must have kept the street crew wondering what the heck?

Peace and love to you in this new year.

Ruth

Dear Glenda, I send tender and caring thoughts to you.   My father died on Dec 7, 23 years ago, but those final memories are burned into my memory.  Grief is a dastardly thing to go through.  It feels like a surreal experience, it is hard to believe that people are still driving around in cars, shopping, going to movies etc.  Since that first really piercing grief in my life, there have been others, but never never does it become manageable.  It is something in our human experience that we have to pass through.  It is unique to all of us, and at the same time common to all of us.  --I just talked to my mother, its her 86th birthday, and she had gotten a letter yesterday from her physician stating that they had found a cyst on her liver.  Now my first response is to panic, but as I was alone today and the house was warm and comforting to me, I withdrew into myself and talked to God about it instead.  This is a part of my personality undergoing great construction - not flying to fix all problems and living in panic and fear. 

My father also knew he was not going to survive the surgery, he told his minister so, and he told all of us goodbye and told us he was sorry for failing us as a father.  I'm sure you're confident you will see your father again, but that doesn't ease the sorrow of this present separation.  I am sorry, and we are all here to help you along.

luise.volta

W - I will never pass another flickering streetlight without wondering who is saying "Hi!"
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

Glenda

Hi Everyone, & thank-you all for your warm, comforting thoughts.  We made it through Christmas & the New Year.  My Mom spent the Holidays with us, & we only had a couple of melt downs.  I miss my Dad every single day, & as I'm typing this, tears.  I wonder if the tears will ever stop.  My Mom is doing ok, but I know she misses Dad so much.  She puts on a brave face, but I can see the sadness in her eyes.  We are all trying to keep Mom busy, inviting her places, taking her out, etc. 
I made a special Christmas ornament, with Dad's photo in it, for my Mom, all my siblings, & all the adult grandchildren.  Every year, at christmas, my Dad's ornaments will be hanging on all of our trees.  We won't ever forget him.  I hope he sees those ornaments every year, & smiles!!  When I put my ornament on the tree, it wouldn't hang straight & kept turning toward the door, just like my Dad, always has to see who's coming in.
We told stories about Dad, & laughed at some of the memories.  I know Dad was there laughing with us.

Pooh

That's great Glenda.  Love the ornaments!
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

Pen

Glenda, thanks for posting this. The ornament idea is very nice.
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

CityGirl

Glenda, I am so sorry for your loss.  But your post has resulted in some lovely and comforting replies.

My mother died in September and I still can't believe it.  She was a terrible mother and caused me much anguish throughout my life (even her death and funeral were huge family dramas and traumas, all initiated by her while she was still alive!), but at the end of the day, she was still my mother and she wasn't all bad.   I have been feeling especially sad this week, my granddaughter is turning one and I know my mother would have enjoyed her.   

You and your family are in my prayers.