Author Topic: No expectations -- SUCCESS!  (Read 1993 times)

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Shelby

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No expectations -- SUCCESS!
« on: December 13, 2011, 09:10:11 AM »
Just after Thanksgiving, I took a very nasty fall and broke a significant bone in my leg (aren't they all significant?)  Anyway, I'll be laid up for a couple of months - but the good news is that I do NOT need surgery, and I was able to break my fall with my hands (and therefore did not smash my face on the concrete) without breaking my wrists.  Hooray!

DH emailed all the AC (none live in our town) AND spouses about my injury.  Every single person contacted me directly, expressing concern, except of course for Chilly DIL. 

My reaction?  None.  Nada.  Didn't have one. 

I knew I'd never hear from her, because if she can ignore the death and near-death of GMIL and GFIL, why would a family member's broken bone merit any get well wishes?  So I had ZERO expectations, and guess what?  I was NOT DISAPPOINTED. 

I don't feel sad.  I don't feel mad.  The only feeling I can describe is FREEDOM.  I am LIBERATED from the yoke of a false relationship.  It feels GREAT. 

Except of course that Pooh, on another thread, takes the high road on gifting -  Gosh darn that Pooh.   

phillek

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Re: No expectations -- SUCCESS!
« Reply #1 on: December 13, 2011, 09:41:04 AM »
Good for you!  Hope you get well soon, btw  :)

Sassy

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Re: No expectations -- SUCCESS!
« Reply #2 on: December 13, 2011, 10:54:04 AM »
Get well soon!  Visualize the fusing and healing taking place, to help guide your body.

As for your gift dilemma, did DH decide to email DIL about your fall, before or after he had decided he did not want to get DIL a holiday gift?  I wonder if DH may have more interest in engaging with DIL than he wants to reveal.  While you are managing your own expectations, his own might be something worth discussing further with him.

Shelby

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Re: No expectations -- SUCCESS!
« Reply #3 on: December 13, 2011, 11:27:35 AM »

As for your gift dilemma, did DH decide to email DIL about your fall, before or after he had decided he did not want to get DIL a holiday gift?  I wonder if DH may have more interest in engaging with DIL than he wants to reveal.  While you are managing your own expectations, his own might be something worth discussing further with him.

Thanks, Sassy --

DH decided last winter that he was fed up with DIL.  Because he has good manners, he observes common courtesy, and does send group email to ALL family members - chilly or not - when it is appropriate or desirable to inform them of something.  So his including DIL in the email about my injury was mere courtesy - not a desire to engage with her.  DH has been the one urging me to let it all go.  He long ago got tired of watching me make the efforts, jump through hoops - only to be disregarded. 

Bless his little pea-pickin' heart :-*

Offline Pooh

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Re: No expectations -- SUCCESS!
« Reply #4 on: December 13, 2011, 12:06:51 PM »
Awww Shelby, I didn't say "take the high road until you fall and break your leg!"  Phhhsssshhh.


I hope it heals very quickly for you and bravo for you for letting go of the expectation!  Yay!
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

Doe

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Re: No expectations -- SUCCESS!
« Reply #5 on: December 13, 2011, 02:07:12 PM »
Where is that thumbs up button?????  We need a thumbs up button!

Thumbs up, Shelby!

Offline JaneF

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Re: No expectations -- SUCCESS!
« Reply #6 on: December 13, 2011, 03:23:44 PM »
Hope you have a speedy recovery.

Shelby

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Re: No expectations -- SUCCESS!
« Reply #7 on: December 13, 2011, 04:21:32 PM »
Thank you Phillek, Sassy, Pooh, Doe and Jane for your get well wishes.   :-*  I truly appreciate it - although Pooh has a point.  I wouldn't have broken the leg if I hadn't been trying to take the high road.  Should have stayed down in the valley with that goat Keys sent me.  How do you re-gift a goat?   ;D

Offline tryingmybest

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Re: No expectations -- SUCCESS!
« Reply #8 on: December 13, 2011, 06:13:51 PM »
Feel better Shelby! And congratulations on letting it go! " no expectations" and " loving detachment ", only way to fly ladies - can we please make t -shirts?  :P

Offline luise.volta

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Re: No expectations -- SUCCESS!
« Reply #9 on: December 13, 2011, 06:35:54 PM »
Sorry about your leg and happy about your smashed, dashed, crashed and now extinct expectations. Atta' girl!! Congrats! Sending love...
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

Shelby

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Re: No expectations -- SUCCESS!
« Reply #10 on: December 13, 2011, 08:30:13 PM »
Thanks, Trying.  I appreciate your support here as well as on earlier threads.  You're a pal.

Luise - You're a treasure.  Thank you for your support - and creating this community.  Congratulations from YOU means a LOT.  I'm getting there.  I just have to keep going over and over and over it.  One thing that has helped is when I re-read threads.  Seeing it all in black and white makes me realize how long I tried to keep the MIL/DIL relationship on life support - and removes any doubt I have about moving on.  Of course I will remain civil -- cordial, even.  I just won't invest my heart.  Thank you Luise, so very very much.
 

Offline luise.volta

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Re: No expectations -- SUCCESS!
« Reply #11 on: December 13, 2011, 08:54:55 PM »
S - You're welcome! You and women like you are what WWU is all about. Without women who are willing to look more closely, reevaluate, try again and report back…WWU would be an empty Webpage. You fall down and get up again…you try and fail but you don't give up and finally you try a succeed. When that happens someone new, who is down, lost, and maybe even deep in denial and self-pity…reads about your win. You inspire her to get up and move forward with renewed faith. Healing comes from our listening to each other…understanding each other…caring and sharing…and in that way motivating and rewarding each other. I am so proud of you and your sisters here, I could burst. What I did was to remember what I would have loved to have had at your ages…so I opened the WWU hotel. All of you are filling it with Light.
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama