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Son and daugher in law issues

Started by sunny7777, July 25, 2009, 02:46:11 pm

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sunny7777

My son and daughter in law, and my grandson who is about 14 months old, just found out
he has disability issues.

My son informed me that I should have told him that he does, but said that's okay, it's too late now.My son doesn't have disability issues, only in the math department, he was a little slower than the other children in math only.
Reading straight A's ect.
Participated in band, some baseball and soccer.

I don't know who is putting this in his head, but he also said his dad was to blame because 1/2 of his face is paralyzed, but that was brought on by being a forcip baby, the Doctor at that time messed up.

So how am I to blame for all of this/
I am extremely hurt and afraid to see them again, fearing it will be another thing they say to upset me.
It could be coming from her family, I don't know.  My son has an associates degree and is pursing a bachelor's degree, while working fulltime, to provide for his family.  Wife hasn't worked since they were married, she is now working, that doesn't really matter to me, but how could he be so self criticial.

Prissy

Hi Sunny,
I know what you mean.  My son informed me that his child got asthma because my brother has it. I think we know where the comment came from.  It is a familiar thing the DIL uses to pass judgment on HIS family.

I know it's very hurtful and it's all I can do to keep from saying that I hope to Heaven his kids don't "get alcoholism" from DIL's side of the family.

I'm so sick and tired of all this that I don't know what to do.  It's too much!! >:(

sunny7777

Thank you for replying to my problem. 
My son hasn't ever had any disability issues only in math when in school, so I don't know
where they're getting this, it makes me feel absolutely horrible. I just want my grandson
loved and taken care of, it seems to me her family is causing issues that don't need to be
there, the thing is my grandson needs to be taken care of healthwise and needs help and loved, and i am very concerned for his future.

luise.volta

You are so right about the child and his welfare being the issue. It is time for everyone to align on that not focus on who is to blame. There is a little person here who needs love and understanding.

Probably more data has to be gathered before a medical diagnosis can be made and a treatment program can be set up but that's where to start. Guessing who's to blame is wasted energy and cruel. Maybe no one is. And if it's inherited, it may have skipped a generation or two and come down from very bright people.

Being slow in math isn't retardation. There are geniuses who are not "math people." Give me a break. How ridiculous! Being slow in math is often an attitude..."I don't like this stuff, it doesn't appeal to me."

Support your son in supporting your grandson. This is the time for research, not superstition. This is the time for kindness not accusation.
Help your son to see that rejecting himself as a worthy father could lead to rejection his son. Love is what heals, not recrimination and guilt.
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama