Author Topic: Need Unbiased Opinions  (Read 1438 times)

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Enough

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Need Unbiased Opinions
« on: March 08, 2010, 12:24:46 PM »
Hi All

I am a new poster here, and am looking for insight.

I am purposely not saying if I am a MIL or DIL or if I am a giver or receiver, I just need opinions. (And thank you in advance)

Would you find this thoughtful or offensive?
Is it acceptable to ask for an extensive gift list and then give something you like, but not necessarily something that the giftee would like?
If you sent a gift to someone who was sensitive about about their weight, would you send something 2-4 sizes too big?
Is it acceptable to leave the 50% off sticker on a gift?

I am not looking to start up a MIL/DIL war...honestly, I would just like opinions from both sides of the fence.

cocobars

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Re: Need Unbiased Opinions
« Reply #1 on: March 08, 2010, 12:51:40 PM »
Hi Enough!  And welcome.  If I asked someone for a list of things to choose from, I would pick what to give them from that list.  I have done this before, and I don't know if it makes any difference to you, but I also coordinated what I was giving with other people who knew that person, so they didn't receive duplicates.  That's only if I'm requesting a list, because sometimes people who make out a list will pass it to several other people as well.  If I don't choose from a list, then I simply get gifts that I like.  If it's something I would like to have, then I feel it is also something they may like as well, unless I know their personal preferences are different than mine.  The funny thing about lists (for me) is that I'm not real picky.  You may get better input from others here.  I've never really been upset about whether or not I got what was on a list when I've been put in that position.  I guess it didn't really matter to me.  I believe people give gifts out of thoughtfulness and have always been tickled that they took the time (with me in mind) to find something.  Maybe that comes from being a Christmas baby.  I guess I never really had the chance to be spoiled too much with gifts.  I seemed to get the short end of the stick, and still do.  It's just what happens when you have that kind of birthday.

Secondly, I wouldn't give a clothing gift to anyone who was dieting or sensitive about their weight, if I knew their situation.  I don't believe I've ever given clothing to anyone who wasn't family members.  Even with family, sometimes if they want a clothing item, them I'll give them a gift-card so they can pick out what they like.   I've never been offended by someone giving my a gift of clothing.  I feel it's something they like and thought would look nice on me and appreciate them thinking about me. I have gotten clothing in the past  that was too large.  My best friend gave me a very large sweater.  I'm large breasted so she probably thought it would fit, and I thought so much of her that I wore it whenever I went to her house.  LOL!  I've also received things that were too little.  Obviously they were not worn but were handed down to my daughters, nieces, or yard-saled/salvation armied out.  I wasn't insulted by either of the clothing gifts, but felt bad if the "giver" could not see me wearing their gift because it was too tight. 

Wow!  I'm sorry this is so long winded!  I, for one am happy to have your here, whether you are a MIL or a DIL, and to be honest with you I don't believe I'm alone there.  So Welcome! I hope this helps you!  :)
« Last Edit: March 08, 2010, 02:33:51 PM by cocobars »

2chickiebaby

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Re: Need Unbiased Opinions
« Reply #2 on: March 08, 2010, 01:39:22 PM »
Dear Enough,
I was always taught to accept any gift and be happy for it.  That's what I do and always do.  I know that sometimes a gift can hit you the wrong way, whether it's meant to or not.

I bought my DIL a gift that I just loved and would have loved for myself, anyone would, I thought.  For my birthday, she didn't even bother to put it back together but stuck it in a box and gave it back to me.

That really hurt me.  So, I know some gifts can.

cremebrulee

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Re: Need Unbiased Opinions
« Reply #3 on: March 08, 2010, 01:51:33 PM »
Hi and welcome....

first, I think you'll find that the ladies on this forum are not only unbiased....but also, very honest...it's what happens as you grow older...you don't care if someone likes you or not...you understand, that some personalities simply clash, and the older you get the more outspoken you get...you don't care about belonging to a click or being accepted...so I hope that helps...

Now, I don't believe there is any edicate rules on gifts...while you have some so called experts who claim to know it all....

Gifts are difficult b/c every individual feels differently...I was bought up to believe like Chickie, a gift is a gift, regardless if you like it or not...however, from the complaints I've seen written in other forums...I've changed my views and give gift cards or money, and I never purchase clothing.

My MIL used to purchase underwear & socks for one of our gifts...she was a child of the depression...and we were taught by mothers like her...while I would never do that...for no specific reason...let me tell you, I was appreciative for them...I wasn't and never will be a shopper or clothes conscienscious....

So, I don't care what people give me, I figure, they took the time to go out and buy it for me...no matter how ridiculous I thought it might be, always accepted it with open arms...

can't wear jewelry b/c I'm allergic...and I'm very fussy about perfume...so, I appreciate gift cards or money, so that I can go out and purchase what I want...

and I give gift cards...for that reason...it's simple and relieves me of the problem of what to buy....people love money...and I certainly wouldn't purchase clothes for anyone.

My real mother is known to give the most ridiculous gifts...it's funny, however, I make a big stink about whatever it is...she buys everything from QVC...LOL

and a gift card to QVC might be the ticket also...

Hugs and good luck

Creme

Orly

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Re: Need Unbiased Opinions
« Reply #4 on: March 08, 2010, 06:17:15 PM »
If you ask for a gift list (wish list?) and there is something on the list that you can afford, go with that.  IF not then find something else nice along the general lines of the list.  I don't buy a clothes gift for women at all....weight issues aside...too large of a landmine for me.  Won't even try to cross that issue!  As to the sticker question...I remove any and all price references on a gift.

My husband and his family leave the stickers on almost every gift they give, I don't know if it is just a glitch in their eyesight or what  but, I think it leaves the giftee in an odd position when they receive it.  They can think the "what a cheap item" or "OMG, they spent waaaay too much on me", better to head that off at the pass. 

renny97

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Re: Need Unbiased Opinions
« Reply #5 on: March 09, 2010, 07:28:44 AM »
A gift is a gift. I think "old school" views are different. My mother used to give gifts wrapped in newspaper and duct tape! I think, she liked to get a reaction! lol. She didn't like to receive gifts (really). She was very giving. We knew, she "regifted" everything she was given. Some of us would get it on another day! I bought a digital clock for mother's kitchen one time, and it lasted over there about a week....then, ooops--gone! Someone must have had their eye on it--and she said, "Here, you can have it." (As she did everything else).

So getting "wound" up over gifts isn't too big. My upbringing was "as long as it [the day/event] was acknowledged by $1 or anything small.

cremebrulee

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Re: Need Unbiased Opinions
« Reply #6 on: March 09, 2010, 07:46:40 AM »
A gift is a gift. I think "old school" views are different. My mother used to give gifts wrapped in newspaper and duct tape! I think, she liked to get a reaction! lol. She didn't like to receive gifts (really). She was very giving. We knew, she "regifted" everything she was given. Some of us would get it on another day! I bought a digital clock for mother's kitchen one time, and it lasted over there about a week....then, ooops--gone! Someone must have had their eye on it--and she said, "Here, you can have it." (As she did everything else).

So getting "wound" up over gifts isn't too big. My upbringing was "as long as it [the day/event] was acknowledged by $1 or anything small.

Nice post Renny!  LOL your mother sounds like my mother was...LOL, incredible women!  I miss her dearly!

yanno, I was speaking to my girlfriend this past weekend...about my DIL and about some complaints with our DIL's and realized, that some of this stuff, like you say, is so ridiculous to get all bent out of shape about....foolish actually, and I am talking about my own situation with DIL....but think about it, really, your intent is to give a gift, if the person receiving the gift doesn't like it, and acts out about it, well shame on her/him....yanno, a gift is an extension of that person...be it cheap, be it beautiful, be it ugly......the majority of gifts people give is something they would buy for themselves personally...it's a gift...so I say, lets suck it up and like it...pretend to like it...make a big what to do about it, and thank that person with all your heart...its so easy to make people happy!

It might be stupid, might be underwear or some dumb stuffed duck, ...but that person giving the gift, spent time picking it out....and money...therefore....be gracious and thankful, regardless....

Now, if you'll excuse me, I gotta go, gotta go buy some bug spray for a birthday gift.   ;D





renny97

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Re: Need Unbiased Opinions
« Reply #7 on: March 09, 2010, 07:53:23 AM »
 ;D ;D My mother, would have held onto that one!!!!! And, a card, "STOP buggin' me!" LOL!  :D

Now, you get that woman some drill bits....and that was her jewelry! (she liked to make wood projects).

cremebrulee

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Re: Need Unbiased Opinions
« Reply #8 on: March 09, 2010, 08:33:50 AM »
;D ;D My mother, would have held onto that one!!!!! And, a card, "STOP buggin' me!" LOL!  :D

Now, you get that woman some drill bits....and that was her jewelry! (she liked to make wood projects).

LOL!!!!!

Enough

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Re: Need Unbiased Opinions
« Reply #9 on: March 09, 2010, 10:12:25 AM »
Thank you everyone, it is nice to get an array of thoughts.