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have problems with my daughter and son-in-law

Started by irish4479, February 01, 2010, 07:15:51 am

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I am so hurt that I finally turned to this website.  My daughter and son-in-law moved in with my husband and myself three years ago.  It was good and then bad and then good.  My son-in-law who is 25 has a family that includes his mother who has been married five times, has him and three other kids 19, 18, and 16.  His father has a daughter 19 and a son who is 14.  I have a adorable grandson who will be four in March.  I had a rough two years with my sister finally losing her last year at the age of 49.  With the kids attitude towards me and losing my sister - I had a drinking problem which I nipped it in the bud.  I have been going to a counselor for three years now and it is ok. I also was going thru menopause which I made the mistake of telling my daughter it made me crazy and now she feels something will happen to her son if I babysit. I play with my grandson in the living room and when it is time to go downstair to get laundry she gets my grandson.  Can imagine what impact it has on my grandson.  When I come home from work - my daughter has supper ready for her family but not me.  She says it costs too much (never mind the fact that they don't even contribute to the household).  Hurts really hurts.  I promised my son-in-law that I wouldn't drink again and I broke the promise and therefore lost my privledges to babysit my grandson.  Imagine coming home and seeing someone else babysitting your grandson. I also cannot have one on one relationship with him.  They were out and I mistakenly left a knife out on the table in the living room and they told me I can never babysit him again.  We had a big fight and now they are moving out.  I am so upset but it is the best thing I guess.   I am afraid I will not see my grandson as much as I used to.  My husband is so upset that he is ready to write them off. I told him don't burn your bridges.  My son-in-law has trust issues and broken promises yet his mom and step mom can babysit my grandson? His mom is the worst and yet they trust her?  I stayed in my bedroom all weekend long with hurt - my friends told me to pretend it doesn't bother me but how can you do that? My daughter told me they understand why I am angry but taking out on them will only push them further apart.... Hello?  I asked them to go to my counselor but they said no. 


I think you will just need to give them more time.  You will need to prove to them you are not drinking any longer and can be trusted.

Moving out of your house and making a home for themselves is a good thing...for all involved.


Just sending love...lots of it. What a difficult time for you. I'm so sorry.   
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama