Author Topic: Frustrated and Upset and not sure what to do  (Read 1268 times)

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Frustrated and Upset and not sure what to do
« on: October 19, 2011, 03:35:48 AM »
My daughter has been living with a man, 10 years older than her. On 2 different occasions she has had to call the police because of his abuse. She will not lay charges cause she says she is not a rat. She was going to move back home because she was pregnant, she has no money, he does not work. All he does is live off of his grandmothers old age pension. She was well aware that she was allowed here and the baby, but that he was not to stay the night. I did state that he was welcome to come here to see her and the baby.  I bought everything she needed for the baby. She had the baby a few weeks ago. After she had the baby, My step father passed away so I had to leave the province.  On the first night out of the hospital, she decided to push and wanted him to stay. My husband told him no that he could not stay. He screamed for hours, keeping everyone in the house awake. Until about 4 am - at that point I called and told my daughter that he would have to leave. So in the middle of the night all 3 of them left. I get a message that I am no longer the grandma and I am not allowed to see the baby.  While I was in Ontario a friend of my daughters did advice me that my daughter had told her that while she was pregnant, that her boyfriend made her drink and do drugs or he would hit her.

When they were leaving, My husband told them that they could take everything that she had gotten from the baby shower. She stated that she would be back.
The next day, they did come back and they took everything. Even the stuff I had purchased for my eldest daughter who is also pregnant.

I am just not sure what to do, I am so depressed and upset to be treated like this. She has not contacted me since the incident.  If anyone could give me some advice,


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Re: Frustrated and Upset and not sure what to do
« Reply #1 on: October 19, 2011, 06:37:50 AM »
Hi Midnight-

I don't think there is anything you can do for her unless your daughter comes to her senses.  What you've said and done makes absolute sense so this is not your fault.

I think all you can do it let her do her version of 'leave and cleave'.  Find some way to allow her to make her own mistakes. If you can keep some line of communication to her so she can come back when she's had enough, that would be wonderful, but certainly not expected of you.

I hope you can take some attention off of her and and put onto your other pregnant daughter.  My advice is to take care of your physical needs:  eat, sleep, breathe, take plenty of B vitamins, walk outside everyday and look at the world around you and try to find some beauty to help you take your attention off her.

Offline pam1

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Re: Frustrated and Upset and not sure what to do
« Reply #2 on: October 19, 2011, 07:14:46 AM »
Welcome midnightskye :)

When you get a moment please read the Forum Agreement and History of WWU.  Nothing wrong with your post, we just all new members to do so :)

I'm glad you found us, I think you'll find a lot of support here. 
People throw rocks at things that shine - Taylor Swift

Offline Pen

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Re: Frustrated and Upset and not sure what to do
« Reply #3 on: October 19, 2011, 09:19:00 AM »
Welcome, Midnightskye. I don't have any advice other than to take care of yourself during this time. Many of the posters here have been through similar problems, I know you'll get much support and suggestions soon.
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb