Author Topic: New view of DIL  (Read 2020 times)

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2chickiebaby

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New view of DIL
« on: January 24, 2010, 04:26:36 PM »
Had the chance to view DIL differently....DDIL.  She has completed the invasion and taken over son's entire old self now.  It is complete and done.  No remnant of his old self remains at all.

Because of this, she is now softening to us.  I am soft to her too, always have been. Rather than trying to engage her now, she engages us.  It's nice and I am tyring to appreciate all that goes with it.  Her children are delights, kind and good kids.  She's a great Mother.

I wish that it had not taken such a battle for her to complete this occupation.  She has conquered the land and has taken possession.  The army can lay down its arms and go home.  The only casualties of the war have been his father and me.  We're just about dead. 


Offline Pen

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Re: New view of DIL
« Reply #1 on: January 24, 2010, 06:01:39 PM »
I respect how fair you are towards DDIL, praising her for being a good mom and for now trying to engage you and your DH. You are amazing. Your description of the "conquering" of your DS is spot on. It's such a weird phenomenon. When I first heard DIL's opinions and beliefs coming out of DS's mouth I was shocked. 60 Minutes should go in with cameras blazing to uncover the story behind the cult of brainwashing by these DILs!
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

2chickiebaby

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Re: New view of DIL
« Reply #2 on: January 24, 2010, 06:09:59 PM »
60 Minutes could do a fabulous expose' on the training and utimate takeover of a man by a woman. 

The Care and Feeding of Today's Man.  What a brat.

The brats would say it is his choice...really?  His choice?  The stares, the lies, the manipulation, the mind tricks, the control? 

Offline luise.volta

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Re: New view of DIL
« Reply #3 on: January 24, 2010, 07:57:28 PM »
I just published one such a campaign today on www.MomResponds.com

Go take a look. It is in it's infancy and,f I'm not mistaken, the DIL has already won. It is so sad. It breaks my heart. I invited her over.
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

2chickiebaby

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Re: New view of DIL
« Reply #4 on: January 25, 2010, 03:24:47 AM »
Dear Luise,
I'm lookingon Momresponds and can't find the post you're talking about.  Which one is it? 

cremebrulee

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Re: New view of DIL
« Reply #5 on: January 25, 2010, 04:02:53 AM »
Yes, Chickie, I am very very proud of you and sending you great big hugs....yanno, it's amazing, how important the support is, that we receive here.  It is, to me, amazing how you've grown in such a short time...and I don't mean that as an insult to the way you were before, but, to come this far Chickie, in such a short time, proves, that this website is not only supportive but essential for all of us, to learn and grow.  Thank you for hanging in there, I only wish somehow, that no mother or DIL endure this....

Big hugs

Luise...I went in looking for it to, but couldn't find it...would love to read....and thank you

2chickiebaby

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Re: New view of DIL
« Reply #6 on: January 25, 2010, 04:11:29 AM »
Creme, I'm heartsick...

cocobars

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Re: New view of DIL
« Reply #7 on: January 25, 2010, 05:58:18 AM »
Louise, I also looked for it & couldn't find it.  Is it the "why won't they pay" one?   Because that sounds like it is just the beginning & that there is a lot of heartbreak to come.

My guess would be "why won't they pay."  It sounds like the MIL/FIL is being set-up to say something, so they can look bad in front of everyone else. Then the DIL/DS don't have to take responsibility for their actions.  The son has already taken on the DIL's personality, even though that is not how he was raised.

Take a second look at that one.

Chickie, I don't know how to react.  It's good and it's bad altogether.  It's an adjustment, I know.

Offline luise.volta

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Re: New view of DIL
« Reply #8 on: January 25, 2010, 03:46:45 PM »
Yes, it's the one on the home page, "Why Won't They Pay?" It's classic, it seems to me. You're right, it's just beginning, but the son is condoning behavior he wasn't taught (that's the red flag) and the DIL is manipulating him and everyone else. They're already on a crash course to disaster. It made the hair stand up on the back of my neck. Many of us have been there, with no idea what to do and not knowing it really didn"t matter what we did, the war had already been won before we even knew there was one. I hope the MIL crosses over.
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

2chickiebaby

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Re: New view of DIL
« Reply #9 on: January 25, 2010, 04:07:46 PM »
As Mother's of this alien, we know he's not right in the head but we just can't seem to 'get it.'  We keep going back for more and more.

We allow ourselves to be 'used, abused and tatooed' over and over again.  We never 'get it' till we're just about used up and then, when they're through, we just get thrown away.  We'll take any abuse they give and then take a laruping second helping of the yummy stuff.  All for the joy of being around the new creatures.  Well, howdy doodle do. :(

Offline Pen

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Re: New view of DIL
« Reply #10 on: January 25, 2010, 06:37:07 PM »
We've been down the money path as well. I'm putting a stop to it after this past Christmas when we were shown how little we mattered, and they were shown how much they mattered to us. I'm not a materialistic person, but I know when those I love are being given cheap, thoughtless presents. We also pay whenever we go out - one of our birthdays? We pay. One of their birthdays? We pay. Enough is enough.
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb