Author Topic: not coping very well need some tlc  (Read 4778 times)

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farrelly80

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not coping very well need some tlc
« on: September 15, 2011, 12:00:12 PM »
Hi all
Not coping today need a bit of WWU tlc. The new GC is due today and after 5 months still not a word from my DS, Not seen my GS in all that time. The worst thing is not knowing if that baby has already been born. I have been ok lately, reading here and knowing so many are in the same sad situation but hard day today. I keep saying to myself it is what it is until it isnt, it does help, but I just wish life could be easy, happy, not always being sad, always at the back of my mind.  I hope and pray that my lovely ds will want to tell his parents that he is a daddy again but i wont hold my breath. so just needed a rant.
xx

Offline elsieshaye

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Re: not coping very well need some tlc
« Reply #1 on: September 15, 2011, 02:55:47 PM »
Sending you lots of warmth and support, Farelly.
This too shall pass.  All is well.

Offline luise.volta

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Re: not coping very well need some tlc
« Reply #2 on: September 15, 2011, 03:08:22 PM »
Regarding "always being sad at the back of your mind"…the way up and out of sadness is sure a rocky one for most of us. When it got to be too much for me, I took a page from our grief counselor's book  and set aside a time every morning to be totally broken up about it. I let myself go down to the bottom of my hurt and loss (alone , of course.) Then I  stop when my time is up...( I was allowed an hour but 20 works for me) and have a good day. If I let the sad stuff stay around, it colors everything and I have a lot to be joyful and happy about. Off the wall therapy but for me, it's a "get-out-of-jail card.
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

Offline Rose799

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Re: not coping very well need some tlc
« Reply #3 on: September 15, 2011, 03:23:18 PM »
I'm sorry Farelly.  Our dc can be thoughtless & cruel sometimes.  I'm glad you're here; we'll get through it together...  ((hugs))

Offline lancaster lady

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Re: not coping very well need some tlc
« Reply #4 on: September 15, 2011, 03:25:10 PM »
I love that idea Luise ......it makes you realise how much you have in your life that is good without losing touch with why we are sad , if that makes sense ...... ???

Offline Begonia

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Re: not coping very well need some tlc
« Reply #5 on: September 15, 2011, 04:28:36 PM »
Farrelly:  Sending good wishes to you.  You are a caring person and that shows through here.  Keep confident that this will get better!
Yesterday is history, Tomorrow is a mystery, Today is a gift (Eleanor Roosevelt)

Offline Pen

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Re: not coping very well need some tlc
« Reply #6 on: September 15, 2011, 05:27:45 PM »
Farrelly, I'm sorry you're having a rough go. I'm glad you let us know what was going on and hope we can be of some comfort.
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

sesamejane

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Re: not coping very well need some tlc
« Reply #7 on: September 15, 2011, 07:55:27 PM »
I have been in a similar situation farrelly, but my gd was born in 07.  I have not seen her or a picture of her. For me it is very sad, and I certainly never in my wildest dreams thought this was a situation I would find myself in.  I have read many posts by other women who feel the same. It is baffling and sad.

I heard someone write about starting a scrapbook for estranged gc.  I love that idea, however, I find I am very busy and unable to fiddle too much.  I decided to start "boxes."  I have a trunk for each child that I have put baby clothes, prom dress, family pics and heirlooms, etc.  I find it is too much to do for gc.  But I am looking for nice sized wooden boxes with lids to put treasures in for gc.

It helps me get through some of the blues-went through an antique mall today looking for one.  I have recently had an opportunity to see pics of my gc but chose not to because I did not want to open those wounds just now.  But that is my choice.

I feel sure you will find the support you need on these pages.  Hugs...

farrelly80

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Re: not coping very well need some tlc
« Reply #8 on: September 15, 2011, 08:11:36 PM »
Thank you for your kind words and support. I do have a lot to be thankful for, great YS and FDIL who love me dearly. Thanks Luise that is good advice I will try taking that time out to be sad without letting it overwhelm me. One day at a time, who knows maybe when this baby is born my DS will realise family does matter and can provide love and support when times get tough. I know I have good family and friends around me who are always there when I need them. That is a comfort and I do tell them I appreciate and love them for it. I will keep reading and take advice from all you WW it really does help. xx

Offline luise.volta

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Re: not coping very well need some tlc
« Reply #9 on: September 15, 2011, 08:16:35 PM »
Enought love to go around andsome left over. :)
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

Offline forever spring

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Re: not coping very well need some tlc
« Reply #10 on: September 15, 2011, 10:18:11 PM »
So so sorry to hear about your pain farrelly. Lots of tlc from me to you. I don't know you personally but I feel that I do. Take care and hopefully your DS will be so overwhelmed by the joy of having a new child that he will wnat to share the good news with you soonest. Thinking of you ...

farrelly80

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Re: not coping very well need some tlc
« Reply #11 on: September 22, 2011, 04:58:53 AM »
Hi all

Had a card today from DS to tell us his little girl was born last week. It was a written card telling us the details but asking not to call round uninvited and they will get in conact when they are ready to do so. Also thanking us for giving them space!!!. Dont know how I feel. Have sent a card to them congratulating them and one to GS on the birth of his little sister. Maybe, its a start to having some sort of relationship with them again. watch this space!!!!

Offline forever spring

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Re: not coping very well need some tlc
« Reply #12 on: September 22, 2011, 06:29:27 AM »
Congratulations to your new GD  :) A new life and you are part of it. So happy for you.

Offline Pooh

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Re: not coping very well need some tlc
« Reply #13 on: September 22, 2011, 06:38:52 AM »
That's great farrelly and congratulations!  The cards were sweet, but please be patient now and wait for them.  What great progress!
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

Doe

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Re: not coping very well need some tlc
« Reply #14 on: September 22, 2011, 06:43:25 AM »
Yes, that is great news!

Just be happy for them and abide by their wishes.   It sounds like that's what is needed.  You can get busy knitting caps and booties for your first visit!