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How would you feel if

Started by cremebrulee, January 06, 2010, 03:56:14 pm

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cremebrulee

Your DIL or MIL read your posts...

me, I wouldn't care...I'd welcome it...not that I want to hurt her in any way, but it's high time someone stand up to her and let her know how many lives she's hurting ... and she needs help...
and so does my son...I would suggest counseling, long term for both of them....

Orly

It wouldn't come as a big surprise to them.  Quote Popeye, "I yam what I yam and that's all that I yam" .

  My writing follows my mouth so....if they have a problem with what I say in either format, I stand behind it and take my lumps or pats on the back.  Guess it is that old "Show Me" state upbringing, show me why I'm wrong or why I'm right.  I'm either really brave or really stupid, but at least everyone knows what to expect when they ask me for my opinion.  They are going to get "MY" opinion, unvarnished!

sadDIL

I wish my MIL would read my posts. Even though I have only posted a few times, I sincerely meant what I said. I love reading others' posts on a daily basis. Every time I have tried to tell ILs how I feel, they take everything backwards and accuse me of being hateful. If I said I wanted things to get better, they would probably say "only so you can make things worse again." I can't win with them and it hurts to even try.

2chickiebaby

I wish she could too, SadDIL, it's a shame that she says that to you.  I know you want a good relationship with them or you wouldn't be trying so hard.  So sorry!

Victim

I would hope that she sees how much I am working on things and gives me another chance

Pen

I've thought about this, and for that very reason have tried (probably not well enough) to be vague about personal, identifying details...DIL would take it all out of context and be upset, I'm guessing. Since things are going well for the time being, it would be disappointing if that happened.
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

isitme?

oooh, not to be a negative nancy, but I think if my FMIL read my posts she would go off the deep end.  Then again, I"m not sure she has the insight to understand what any of us are saying here.  I think she would just be upset that I was talking to other people...  :(

isitme?

hmm... here's another spin on this question...

how would you feel if your son/partner read your posts?  Sometimes I just get so mad at how oblivious my BF is to everything that's going on around him.

cremebrulee

Quote from: isitme? on January 07, 2010, 06:57:38 am
hmm... here's another spin on this question...

how would you feel if your son/partner read your posts?  Sometimes I just get so mad at how oblivious my BF is to everything that's going on around him.


I would be ok with that as well....


2chickiebaby

January 07, 2010, 07:12:24 am #9 Last Edit: January 07, 2010, 07:22:20 am by 2chickiebaby
I would feel B.A.D. if my son read these, either son.  I hope that never happens, good Lord!! I would freak out.  My DH ignores everything...so I'm not worried about him.  Men, you can't live with them and you can't live without them. 

(that's what they say about us)  Idiots.  My husband says that I am one big ball of feelings.  Well, howdy doodle do. >:(  At least I don't ignore things till the danged roof falls in.)  He would say, " is there some kind of problem?  You know, I knew the roof was not holding up and I was going to get around to that..."

"yes, there is, Honey. I have been stuffing my feelings about the roof"

I've got a great husband but he is a "putter offer". He thinks if he has everything in order, like in files, he's fine.  Here's a rundown....50 files of perfectly outlined and detailed receipts, things to do, etc.  All of them are neatly perched in his office from way back in the stone age.   

Isn't that special?  If he wasn't so nice and kind, I'd get me a handy man and give him what's left of my body, including the 'tube socked' breasts.  ;D  I could put those things in white tube socks and use the socks as a bra.

They were big "hits" in school. 

isitme?

hahaha
you crack me up chickiebaby!!!!!

just2baccepted

Oh gosh that's a aweson question!!  And believe you me I've though about it.  My MIL doesn't know how to use a computer but SIL does and has one at home.  So anything is possible.  If she read my posts she could figure it very quickly.

How would I feel???  Well first I would love for MIL to maybe see on paper how evil her actions have been.  But then I would be somewhat embarrassed at her knowing that I've thought this much about their rejection of me.  If I think about it this much and blog about it this much it must really bother me right?  I wouldn't want her to know that for sure.

cremebrulee

Quote from: just2baccepted on January 07, 2010, 11:02:01 am
Oh gosh that's a aweson question!!  And believe you me I've though about it.  My MIL doesn't know how to use a computer but SIL does and has one at home.  So anything is possible.  If she read my posts she could figure it very quickly.

How would I feel???  Well first I would love for MIL to maybe see on paper how evil her actions have been.  But then I would be somewhat embarrassed at her knowing that I've thought this much about their rejection of me.  If I think about it this much and blog about it this much it must really bother me right?  I wouldn't want her to know that for sure.


well, yanno, rejection of a family member or close friend is an awful heartbreaking thing...so no matter what she thinks, just know, it's ok to be sad...and one more thing...sometimes I believe these people like our MIL's and DIL's so expect us to reject them...that they sabotage the relationship b/c they are so insecure, they don't like themselves and they're worst fear is rejection, especially by us, to they reject us first....

I know people do things for many reasons, but that could very well be one...heck, who knows what goes on in they're minds...my Gosh, we surely can't second guess them...and shouldn't....and I do believe if we'd all retain the relationship with our son's, and as wives, encourage your husband's relationship with they're mothers, do nothing out of revenge or anger, speak no angry words...and be always the true ladies you are....no matter what else happens, you can't help but be better for it....

Hugs
Creme

isitme?

Quote from: cremebrulee on January 07, 2010, 11:09:16 am
..sometimes I believe these people like our MIL's and DIL's so expect us to reject them...that they sabotage the relationship b/c they are so insecure, they don't like themselves and they're worst fear is rejection, especially by us, to they reject us first....


I think you may be on to something here Creme... as much as we talk about our MILs and DILs control issues and their selfishness, one thing that really comes across is their TREMENDOUS insecurities.  It's a shame because the chances are if they are doing it to us, they're probably doing it to a lot of other people in their lives too.  What an awful way to live - I would hate to be inside that head or that heart...  :(

cremebrulee

January 10, 2010, 06:27:28 am #14 Last Edit: January 10, 2010, 06:30:07 am by cremebrulee
Sad DIL,,,,
your post really bothers me, that people can be so closed minded and disregard the feelings of others...

I'm so sorry your inlaws refuse to acknowledge your feelings and put the blame on you...so utterly an unproductive way to look at things...

Hugs
Creme