Author Topic: MOTHER IN LAWS UNITE  (Read 10271 times)

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greeneyes100

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MOTHER IN LAWS UNITE
« on: January 04, 2010, 04:32:51 AM »
That is the name of this site. It was started by a loving lady for loving reasons, to promote love,to promote kindness, to forgive and to live in peace and harmony.  This site is not for those who want to cause problems or negativity. Those people are not welcomed on this site. We are a united unit of MILs for MILs.

RedRose

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Re: MOTHER IN LAWS UNITE
« Reply #1 on: January 04, 2010, 07:27:39 AM »
Greeneyes100,
The corner of this page says why this site was created..."Enough of the mother in law jokes, already!  Mother in laws unite!  :-)  When adult children marry and leave home, life can sometimes get more complex instead of simpler.  Being a mother in law can be tough.  How do we extend love and support to our adult children, daughter in laws, son in laws, and grandchildren without interfering?  What do we do when there are communication problems?  How can we ask for help when we need it without being a burden?  And how do our sons and daughter in laws feel about these issues?  We invite you to join our free forum, share your challenges, and lend your wisdom. Grab a favorite beverage, come on inside, peruse some posts, and when you're ready, share your thoughts."

How can we discuss what problems we may be having and look for solutions if you do not want to hear them?

Not everybody wants to cut off ties they have with their children just because they are not getting along.  They want to talk about it and find ways to fix the problems they are having in their relationships.


RedRose

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Re: MOTHER IN LAWS UNITE
« Reply #2 on: January 04, 2010, 07:52:21 AM »
"Why don't we start some positive threads, threads about how to be loving, how to respect boundaries, threads about what worked and what mistakes we have made that we don't want to repeat. Lets show anyone coming to our sight how emotionally mature we are and that we really are about loving and caring."

"The MIL/ DIL issue has been around for decades, lets work towards positive change."

This site has talked about all those issues......

I have only been a MIL for 3 years....I want to still see those issues.

We need to understand and talk about it and work our problems out....in order to get to a positive change.

kathleen

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Re: MOTHER IN LAWS UNITE
« Reply #3 on: April 18, 2010, 12:41:38 PM »
I'd like to share something really wonderful:

The May, 2010, WOMAN's DAY magazine has a small article on page 40:

"Why I Love My Mother-in-Law" by Jennifer Matlack

I hope all of you suffering with daughter-in-laws will read this.  It won't help those of us who have been cut off, except to give us some comfort in the
fact that somewhere in this wide, selfish country of ours, there is a young woman who decided to look at her mother-in-law, take what could be flaws and make them into positives, and, simply, love her.   :)

The key word is "decided."  It's an act to respect a mother-in-law, not a reaction.  The article includes such lovely statements as, "At 85, my mom-in-law, Jo, is one of the savviest women I know.  She doesn't deserve the bad rap so many MIL's get."

I wonder if all those young women out there so quick to criticize, to twist good intentions into something they weren't meant to be, to limit or cut off contact with grandchildren, have ever thought of what they are teaching their children, and that the manner in which they treat their mother-in-laws could, someday, be the way they themselves are treated.

Public thanks to Jennifer Matlack for this loving portrait of the value of a much-maligned relationship.

Kathleen

Postscript

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Re: MOTHER IN LAWS UNITE
« Reply #4 on: April 18, 2010, 02:01:09 PM »
That is the name of this site. It was started by a loving lady for loving reasons, to promote love,to promote kindness, to forgive and to live in peace and harmony.  This site is not for those who want to cause problems or negativity. Those people are not welcomed on this site. We are a united unit of MILs for MILs.

The name of this site is Wise Women Unite.  This is because Luise in her wisdom decided to include dils as well, so women could help women and so that we can all help each other.  Some women have wonderful dils and some don't.  Some women have wonderful mils and some don't. 

I can only speak for myself, but I very much respect Luise and what she has done here.  I am more than willing to do my part to ensure her vision for this site comes to fruition and we have an online society of all ages, creeds etc helping each other to understand the difficult dynamics of the relationships they have, not just with their mothers/daughters in law, but with other members of their families.

RedRose

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Re: MOTHER IN LAWS UNITE
« Reply #5 on: April 18, 2010, 02:23:17 PM »
Kathleen...welcome...and thank-you for the information...I will look for it.

Since it is me you have quoted I see a need to respond...Although the name of this site has changed...I still feel the same.

Everyone was always welcome here..as a wise woman once said..as long as you a say it with compassion and love and are truly looking for  answers this is a good place to come to.

Treat others the way you want to be treated.

I respect Luise immensely and I thank her for this site. Luise I hope your personal life gets better day by day. I pray for you and Val everyday.

Offline luise.volta

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Re: MOTHER IN LAWS UNITE
« Reply #6 on: April 18, 2010, 02:27:40 PM »
Hi,

Not only is the title, www.motherinlawsunite.com , obsolete...so is my vision statement (in the top right corner of the Home Page)...as quoted. It's been changed...because we changed.

When I saw how the DILs who came here enriched our site, I changed the title to www.wisewomenunite.com . We have expanded in our mutual understanding and grown in a way I never envisioned. What a blessing!

After a year, (we started last Mother's Day), I have just reviewed and published my experience of funding my dream and seeing it not only take shape...but take on a life of its own. You can read it under Grab Bag "Managing and Monitoring a Forum."

I am so deeply appreciative of all of you. What an incredible "family."
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

cremebrulee

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Re: MOTHER IN LAWS UNITE
« Reply #7 on: April 18, 2010, 02:29:57 PM »
Kathleen, welcome and thank you so much for sharing....

I truly believe, this site is for all women who are willing to work together compassionatly, caring for each other as sisters...who are willing to give they're input on issues and situations...it was like this when I joined, and I see more and more people joining every day...I don't believe we should seperate ourselves or divide ourselves...as MIL's/DIL's, but look past that and work together as women...woman who can learn from each other...

This site is a fabulous sorce of information from all who participate...not to mention...the wisdom that comes forth in ideas and suggestions...I wouldn't be where I am today, if it hadn't been for this site...and my thanks goes out to Luise, and the many women who are here for your kindness and patience...but most of all willingness to be...

Luise, I hope with each passing day it goes better for you and Val...your in my thoughts and prayers, and many thanks to you.


bettylou

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Re: MOTHER IN LAWS UNITE
« Reply #8 on: April 19, 2010, 05:47:39 AM »
I am very new here and I have been putting up a lot of messages and letting myself be open to criticism and praise and input of all sorts.  I think I have made huge strides in just a week or so and I would not be able to do that if it were not for ALL the women I have talked to here Mother in Laws and Daughter in Laws.  They were both helpful to me and both made me look at things from a different view.  I am glad and grateful there is a mix of ages and experiences.  I do not know it all and need alot of help to see things sometimes.

Offline luise.volta

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Re: MOTHER IN LAWS UNITE
« Reply #9 on: April 19, 2010, 07:31:13 AM »
Aren't we lucky to have this venue? To me, this is the highest and best use of the Internet...love.
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

womenrule123

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Re: MOTHER IN LAWS UNITE
« Reply #10 on: April 19, 2010, 08:36:12 AM »
Hello ladies! I've appreciated this site because it gives me a different view within in law relationships. I know parents who are going through terrible challenges with their adult children and their spouse. Also, I know individuals who have a better relationship with their in laws over their own family. Parenting and the family structure has changed over the years...sadly! Children are dealing with stressed out parents or lack of parents in several cases. We are the sandwich generation which means we are supporting our parents while attempting to raise our own children. We are expected to be the "Super mom"... The list is endless. I know grandparents and great grandparents raising their grandchildren full-time on their retirement cheques with no support from their adult children or in laws. I do feel for all the mil's who've been excluded from their grandchild...I hope you can find a solution. My background includes a jealous brother in law and family destruction (now divorced), my own experience with  law relationships and a future sil (dh's brother getting married this Summer) who's controlling and anti-social. Poor poor mil and fil...I think they need several hugs for this one! The roller coaster of life... Argh LOL
« Last Edit: April 19, 2010, 08:38:54 AM by womenrule123 »