Dear Sadat,
What Creme said below is what made so much comforting sense to me. I hope it does to you too. Merry Christmas....bless you.
..I'm so sorry this is happening to you...yanno, the more we give to our children, the more they will take...and in this case, your enabling them to do this to you and to treat you as they do. Tough love is the hardest thing on the face of this earth to do...respect has to be earned...and it's up to you, to find the courage to talk to them and tell them you will not be talked to like this...and they may leave and not see you...but will come back when they want something...actually, you've allowed them to do this to you...for a long time...and it will be hard to break...the question is, can you deal with not seeing them if you do put your foot down. One thing, do not do anything until you know you would be able to deal with the consequences of your actions, b/c once they become adults there is not much you can do but demad respect...and if you do, as I said, they may retaliate and become very nasty and not come around...I'm wondering, do they ever do anything for you...or do they come around only when they need something...and if they do, and you give them what they want, then basically what your doing is rewarding bad behavior...does that make any sense? What do you think?
_________________________________________________________________________
I don't know tough love but I think I can understand detachment and I think that's a good start, Sadat. ((Hugs))