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Started by cremebrulee, December 23, 2009, 04:10:17 am

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December 23, 2009, 04:10:17 am Last Edit: December 23, 2009, 06:17:29 am by cremebrulee
Allowing God into your life, means, no matter what happens, your faith will remain, and you will allow Him to guide you through even the hardest of times...allow him to set your paths...

OK, I didn't post the above in the thread...
So then, and again, reminding you, I work with wonderful gals who are in they're late 30's early 40's.  They all have children and very good working marriages.  They are educated, and of them, my favorite, almost became a journalist...she's a hoot and I love her dearly.  But I do love them all...even the young men...they are so confident and do diligent.  Able to multi task, are fun to work with and we're all like family.  So here's the deal

Are you able to allow?

They all go on vacations together, and they're all wrapped up in working full time, both them and they're husbands.  But, occassionally, maybe 2 times a years, they have girls and guys get away weekends..

They get together with they're college friends and head for the shore...and the guys, go on golfing weekends.  Not at the same time...when the girls go, the husbands stay home for hthat weekend and plan nice quality events for them and they're children, they feed them, and are the mom's for a weekend.  The girls come back so refreshed and feel like brand new....they have a great time, and it's so much frun to hear of they're weekends....
I think, it is so very healthy for your mate to have quality time with they're friends...not hanging out in bars, but just having a great weekend, unwinding, with no worries, nochores, no  clocks, just catching up and having a good time.  But, they're are some women and men, who are absolutely against this...afraid to allow they're spouces to go and have fun without them...
I was married to a man who was so insecure, he'd never allow me to go anywhere, but, he went...sometimes for a week or more...I missed my friends, and work buddies...but he only allowed me a path to my job and to the grocery store, in 14 years, he never took me even on one vacation...not one, and I am such a beach person...he said, if I wanted to go to the shore, I could go for a day, but was not allowed to sleep over and rent a room with my friends.  Sheesh...So, he was not able to allow...he was controlling and probably feared me having fun without him...I felt like a prisioners...literally....he'd say, we dont' take seperate vacations, yet, every year, he'd book a trip somewhere hunting...but that was ok, that wasn't a vacation?

Anyway, those days are over and I've traveled so much within the past 13 years...Life is Good~

Point being, couples should once in a while have time away from each other, now, mind you, this doesn't apply to everyone, some men simply do not have any hobbies or have disconnected with tight close friends due to marriage..they are comfortable not going anywhere...but, there are women who are selfish and would never allow it, fearing they're husband's time away...having fun...maybe even afraid they're husbands would run around on them...women who are so controlling and weak minded that they do not understand the need for quality time away to refresh and relax.  My point is, how many of us, actually gave up our identities, to be a mother, wife...full time jobs...and once we got married, gave up our hobbies...everything...even our friends...????  Why compromise your identity, who you are, I found myself making excuses for not going....reasons why, and they seemed legitiment...but I wanted to go so badly...I see my son, doing the very same thing...he's given up all hobbies and most friends...he doesn't have any quality time for himself...he works, works, that enough?  Is it healthy?  After working so much in your life, without an outlet, you have to burn out?  No?

When you come back you are so refreshed, and hubby also gets a taste of what you go thru with the kids and appreciates you more, actually, you both appreciate each other's like a breath of fresh air.  And everyone deserves alone quality's very rejuvinating.  You have time to self reflect and loose yourself in a good book or your own thoughts...and we all need that....

However, if this doesn't work for some couples, I understand....each to his own....but, what I'm referring to, is the spouse who holds theiy're love captive and even speaks for "Oh, my wife doesn't want to what my husband said, and one time I looked at him with daggers and said, "OH REALLY???"