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A useful article that helped me

Started by isitme?, December 16, 2009, 07:02:31 am

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December 16, 2009, 07:02:31 am Last Edit: December 16, 2009, 07:04:03 am by isitme?
Hi ladies,
This article really resonated with me (BF said he thought it was fascinating but quickly put it down after reading further - I think it may have had some uncomfortable truths for him  :()

If you click on this link, it will open up a pdf - I hope that is acceptable for this forum. 

If your MIL or DIL shows signs of narcissistic personality disorder.. this might help explain WHY their sons/husbands put up with it. 


If any of you read this, would definitely like to know what you think...


I just wanted to add something:

even though the focus of this article is about the parent-child relationship and the effect of a narcissistic parent on their child, I"m not trying to imply that any of you mother's dealing with difficult DILs are narcissitic at all...  but I'd like to point to the idea of "co-narcissism" as a way of understanding why some people just put up with this kind of thing..


Some of us put up with it to maintain access to DS and grandchildren.
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb


This article was awesome, thank you so much for posting...I'm going to print it up...I know that my DIL is narcissistic....

Thank you....


Penstamen, I understand.  As hard as this is for me to deal with, at the end of the day I can get out of this situation by breaking up with my BF and moving on.  I don't want to do that but I can - and when I feel at my worst, I can tell myself that.  I know it's harder for a mother to take that line because you CAN'T just walk away from your children or grandchildren.  But what I"m learning is that understanding this kind of behavior can make it easier to deal with the anger and hurt.  But that's just from the DIL side of things.  I guess it's up to your son to deal with your DILs issues and if he doesn't, that is his choice.  But that is horrible for all of you.

Cremebrulee, I'm so glad you found the article helpful!  You have given me so much great insight and encouragement - I'm happy I could share something with you  :)