June 17, 2019, 06:55:08 am


"Welcome to WiseWomenUnite.com -- When adult children marry and leave home, life can sometimes get more complex instead of simpler.  Being a mother-in-law or daughter-in-law can be tough.  How do we extend love and support to our mothers-in-law, adult children, daughters-in-law, sons-in-law, and grandchildren without interfering?  What do we do when there are communication problems?  How can we ask for help when we need it without being a burden?  And how do our family members feel about these issues?  We invite you to join our free forum, read some posts... and when you're ready...share your challenges and wisdom."

Controlling DIL

Started by SouthernBelle, June 16, 2009, 09:57:33 am

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.


Well, I'm so mad at my DIL, I could spit! My son is buying our second car. We made arrangements with him to drive it to where they live and he said "OK, Thanks." It's over 100 miles round trip. Then he called and told us it wouldn't be "convenient" for us to come up to the apartment. (Guess who came up with that?) I guess we should have canceled and started over but I doubt that would have changed anything. When we got there he came down to the car and got the keys. I know he was terribly embarrassed. Not even a cup of coffee? What's with that woman? She's a good housekeeper, she isn't sick and it wasn't early in the day. I'm so mad that I haven't even gotten to feeling hurt yet! I wish I could say "Well, as long as she makes him happy" - but I don't think she does. She's more like his jailer and he tries to pretend all is well. S/B


Dear Southern Belle,
I can't understand this; I never can. If you asked the DIL's, they would say, "it's their life, keep your mouth shut."

There's no room for our feelings. We're supposed to take anything that's dished out and have no reaction to it.  You're in your mad stage, good!  She's probably mad that you didn't GIVE it to them, who knows?

Their day is coming. She will get this back in spades and she will look back at what she did to you and realize where it's coming from.  It is heartbreaking to know that our sons allow the freakoids to do it.


Belle, Doesn't Prissy make you feel better? At least not so alone!  :'(

My mother once spoke about someone "suffering indignities"...I don't recall what it was about but that's what it seems like. Second-rate citizens. Those phrases come to mind. How utterly sad and how totally senseless and unnecessary. What happened to "common courtesy?" (I suppose I'm dating myself...)

And she's probably right that the time-table that worked for you and your son was inconvenient for her. But what's a little inconvenience, you were doing them a favor?


Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama


When my estranged son (ES) had his first (and only child so far), his brothers were invited to see her.  One of his brothers and his girlfriend traveled the 4 hours only to be told that they would have to meet ES at a restaurant near by.  They did and had to wait there for a couple of hours before they were allowed to go to his house.  Once there, they could tell DIL was put out with them being there and was faking being nice.  They didn't feel comfortable and so they didn't stay long.  ES and DIL really hurt his brothers feelings not to mention embarrassed him.  They also took gifts, form me and my side of the family (which has also been cut off).  ES made them put them in his trunk and not bring them in so that he could do it at a better time.  At first, I wondered if they ever opened them or threw them in the trash.  Later I saw the diaper bag I made for them in a picture when they were visiting my ex.  I assume they didn't realize it was home made by me or it would have been trashed, for having cooties or something...lol!  I have to laugh to keep from crying sometimes.


If one of us wrote a novel and put stuff like that in it, the editor would tell us it needed a rewrite because it wasn't believable!!!! How horrible, lostone! :-[
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama