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"Welcome to WiseWomenUnite.com -- When adult children marry and leave home, life can sometimes get more complex instead of simpler.  Being a mother-in-law or daughter-in-law can be tough.  How do we extend love and support to our mothers-in-law, adult children, daughters-in-law, sons-in-law, and grandchildren without interfering?  What do we do when there are communication problems?  How can we ask for help when we need it without being a burden?  And how do our family members feel about these issues?  We invite you to join our free forum, read some posts... and when you're ready...share your challenges and wisdom."


Have a ?

Started by Kara487, June 01, 2011, 01:38:45 pm

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Kara487

I have been reading your posts and I have a question for the Mil's. All the  posts I read you state your dil's are controlling people . I never seen a post where you take responsibility for your part in not getting along with you dil's. All I see is the dil's gets blamed for everything. My question is have any of the mil's done anything to make your relationship better with your dil's and try to mend things with your dil's? If so what have you done to try to mend things with your dil's? Im just postiong my observation from what I read on here. Thanks for any input.

Kara487

sorry for the typo it was suppose to be posting*

luise.volta

You have a lot more reading to do. There is so much evidence to the contrary on my site. Tons of it.
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

Kara487

Must of not come across it then because I havent seen one post of how the Mil's are trying to make the relationship with their dil's better. I will let you know if I come across any. But so far none.

alohomora

I think you might be looking at this the wrong way OP.

I work in immigration. I see a lot of refugees.

I ask myself. Do these people come here, risking their lives, in frail ships, stuffed in cannisters, on rafts in some cases, getting shot at...are they doing that because their life was so great where they lived? Or were they so fearful of life in their country it drove them to that raft?

I know its an extreme example - but I link it to message boards.

What brings most of THESE particular women here? Do you think women with great DIL/MIL's bother to post on forums on line? Not really. If they're here, its because they were driven here. Maybe they are partly to blame in some cases. Maybe some of them are fully to blame for all we know. But it takes two to tango at the very least. And I'd argue, in most cases, these are good women who've been dealt a bad hand in the DIL/MIL department.

Pooh

Go back and read some of mine Kara if that will send you the right direction. You will see where I have told what I did wrong, how my DS is to blame for much of it and how my DIL is.   There are many of us on here that talk about what we did wrong and how we have tried to make it right. 
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

lancaster lady

Kara:
I'm a MIL , go back and read all my original posts .
We MIL's really would like a relationship with our DIL's .
Do you think we like being estranged from our families ?

We are here for a reason , and that is mostly to find a way to relate and be friends
with our extended families .
There are lots of posts from DIL's also .
Keep reading .

Kennedy

Kara, I've had very few issues with either of our DIL's but the small ones we have had, I've NEVER said or acted like it was all caused by her. Never!
I'm a living ,breathing human being. I will always make mistakes!! But it's what one does with those lessons in life that matters. IMO.. Not that someone made a mistake.
I haven't been on here a long time yet. But I have spent many hours reading. I feel you may have taken things the wrong way because I've never noticed where MIL's in general on this site, act the way you think..

Kennedy

Kara, I am not trying to start anything so please, please don't take this question as if I am. But could you point out the posts and /or the replies that make you feel the way you do?
I'm not trying to say, "Prove It". I'm only wanting to read what makes you think that so I can learn perhaps from the wording. Thanks you.

luise.volta

There are 100s, K. I am going to lock this post and to let you do your home work. Generalizations can be lethal.
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama