Author Topic: Getting through the holidays  (Read 1672 times)

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Offline Pen

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Getting through the holidays
« on: November 04, 2009, 05:32:25 PM »
It seems as though many of us are really concerned about the upcoming holiday season. I know I am - we are up in the air over plans 'cos we don't know if DS & DIL are coming now and I'm too chicken to ask (I'm not asking 'til I can handle the answer.)

 An article just found me (!) that could pertain to our sense of loss and grief even though it was written to help people get through the holidays who are dealing with the death of a loved one . With a little adjustment here and there it could be helpful to us.

http://www.divinecaroline.com/22088/86674-getting-holidays-loss

We're the forgotten ones - there's no ritual to give us closure like when there's a death. I feel guilty when my grief gets the best of me because at least my son is alive and happy, so, I imagine others thinking, "what's the big deal?" Thank goodness for this site. We're wingin' it here, and I'm grabbing all the help I can get.
Respect ... is appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.
-- Annie Gottlieb

2chickiebaby

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Re: Getting through the holidays
« Reply #1 on: November 04, 2009, 06:11:50 PM »
That's a very good article. I'm going to print it out cause I need to read it over and over. One thing they do is keep us guessing as to what they will and won't do for any occasion. 

mom2

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Re: Getting through the holidays
« Reply #2 on: November 04, 2009, 08:12:06 PM »
Good read ! Thanks Penstamen

Scarlett

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Re: Getting through the holidays
« Reply #3 on: November 05, 2009, 11:11:05 AM »
I just hope to survive and come out in tact.  Nothing more, nothing less at this point.  Sad that it has to be that way  :(

Invisible

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Re: Getting through the holidays
« Reply #4 on: November 10, 2009, 06:19:40 AM »
My son died 2 years ago. My only grandchild is 7 years old. They live less than a mile from me. Because her mother does not like me. I have never been allowed to participate in ANY holidays. I have never seen my granddaughter on Christmas, Easter, Hollween...etc.

Since the death of my only child I do not bother going through the motions of "celebrating" the holidays. I have no family. I just try my best to ignore the holidays. Think of it as another way of saving money.....Just another day. I stay out of the stores as much as possible...my tears still come without warning.

mom2

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Re: Getting through the holidays
« Reply #5 on: November 10, 2009, 02:03:11 PM »
invisible,

My heart goes out to you and please remember we all care about you here and you are not invisible.  I can't even imagine your pain; makes my problems seem so small.

God help your DIL for the cold, insensitive shoulder she has given you. I don't understand all this. I would think they could set the MIL factor aside and just relate to another human being who is grieving but they don't . I know there are decent , kind DILS out there, but other than some on this forum, I have never met them.  I do hope you can find some understanding and comfort here.