Author Topic: taking first step today~not sure how~  (Read 1428 times)

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penelope

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taking first step today~not sure how~
« on: January 27, 2011, 05:09:57 AM »
my dil posted her car was in the sho and was in a bad mood~I sent her a post saying my dh is out of town,shes more than welcome to use one of our trucks~I going to either call her or send a message asking if all this can be over with,shes married to my son,he loves her and I just want it all to be at peace,after reading alot of the post I realize I can fix this,I don't want it going any further or worse~wish me luck ladies,I just have to find which way is best to approach her and keep in mind she is imature~wish me luck~

penelope

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Re: taking first step today~not sure how~
« Reply #1 on: January 27, 2011, 06:14:26 AM »
I did it~I sent her a message as my cousin and I both agree in person would make her feel uncomfortable,I told her i was sorry for the way things started,it happened so fast and then we were told things and I copt attitude,I told her I was wrong for thinking once married she should be all WOO HOO!! like us.I said she and ds need to let us know our boundries,this is all new for us,we don't wanna be intrusive but we wanna remain a close family,I said I've spoke with other mil and dil and some can't stand eachother..to the point where they can't be in the same room,I said I don't want us to be like that,I want us to be friends~family~I said for us it was one min he's our son then one min hes a husband and we weren't sure how to deal with it~I know I can be overbearring,I'm a mom,so you guys need to let me know my boundries~I don't wan't you to think we hate you,we don't,we wanna get to know you~I hope you will accept my apology~I really do want us to get along~

I did not point fingers or point out things she's done,then she might see it as a blame her thing,I'm not even sure if she feels she had any part in it...now I wait

she posted her car was in the shop,my dh is out of town so i offered her one of our trucks to use~this is gonna go good or get spun and go bad~

Offline tryingmybest

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Re: taking first step today~not sure how~
« Reply #2 on: January 27, 2011, 08:22:27 AM »
I think you did great! You were honest, and you stepped up to help! Way to Go! {{{{{hug}}}}}

Offline luise.volta

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Re: taking first step today~not sure how~
« Reply #3 on: January 27, 2011, 08:30:50 AM »
Good for you!  :D
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

holliberri

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Re: taking first step today~not sure how~
« Reply #4 on: January 27, 2011, 09:19:06 AM »
Penelope,

Good for you! You did what you could. Now, don't worry about what is to come or if it might not work out like you expect.

Hoping for wonderful things!

penelope

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Re: taking first step today~not sure how~
« Reply #5 on: January 27, 2011, 10:33:29 AM »
Thanks,I also sent one to my sons gf,basically said the same thing and added we need to stop badmouthing eachother when they are not around,she has started alot of drama to,like high school stuff,said I'm sure you and ds will get married someday and dil will be your sil...so we need to all get along,we need to all discuss boundries and respect as this girl has been extremely disrespectful,uses bad home life as an excuse...then sent my ds one,telling him how much we love him and we should have never got into his business as he's an adult, I told him I don't like making him feel like he has to choose who to visit,we aren't the ones who do that to him but I did put it on me~and he also needs to let us know boundries as it was put on us so fast,I once again didn't point fingers,even tho I could have:) so we'll see,I truely hate that his down time is so stressful,it's horrible,but I also feel as his family we aren't asking for much by wanting to see him,we don't demand all his time when he's home,we do like to have dinner as a family at least once,when I say family I mean girls to~I sent those out this morning and still no reply so...I did all I can do:) I am now going to move on and enjoy my life~I'm very blessed with family and friends who do enjoy hanging out at our home,we love life,we laugh often and a cold drink doesn't hurt either,my door is always open,wether they chose to come on in is up to them~Thank You all,had I not found this site and was forced to see both sides and hear that I'm not always right...I'd still be holding onto alot of useless bagage~to say this will last,only time will tell~but I sure will try~

Offline lancaster lady

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Re: taking first step today~not sure how~
« Reply #6 on: January 27, 2011, 10:49:57 AM »
Somebody had to make the first move and you were adult and mature in your approach .
These things just make us ill dragging on and on ,  you have given them the opportunity to end this and they would be silly to refuse it .
If they do then at least you know where you stand and can move on , even though it's painful .
Good luck Penelope .... :)

penelope

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Re: taking first step today~not sure how~
« Reply #7 on: January 27, 2011, 11:15:11 AM »
Thank You~ my ds knows we love him with all our heart and will always be here for him~I'm not getting any younger and I have a life to live to~

cadagi101

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Re: taking first step today~not sure how~
« Reply #8 on: January 27, 2011, 02:41:17 PM »
all  the best to you and the best of luck.     You are open and honest you deserve the best life...so live it

Offline Pooh

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Re: taking first step today~not sure how~
« Reply #9 on: January 28, 2011, 10:04:38 AM »
That was very big of you penelope and you are a great person to make such an effort to fix this.  And I love that you recognize that if they don't respond, you are moving on with your life.  Big hopes that they do respond and want to resolve all this.    :)
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell