May 25, 2019, 03:17:08 am


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some things will never change

Started by erma, December 20, 2010, 01:06:41 pm

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hello ladies! haven't written in a while.......busy with the holidays. :P well here's an update for ya, but defiantly not a shocker. dil is still a snot! well we backed off long ago for a long time. ds and dil i guess were curious, and came sniffing around again. we've gotten to see gc at least once a week for the past couple months. yeah!!!   now here's the clincher. i had family in from out of town over the last week, all of who only met dil one time at dil and ds's wedding. so none of them know her. this past weekend, had a family gathering at my home. my children visited with their cousins for the first time in about 7 years. they were all close as kids growing up, but life happened and we all moved in different directions.
after the functions were over, we (my nieces and nephews stayed at our home) they (nieces and nephews) came to me and said, and i quote:" wow! what an angry mess she is!!"  now, i do NOT speak of family issues with other family members or anyone for that matter except my BFF, or on this forum.  they felt her tension and angry personality all by themselves!
needless to say, dil was quite the snot to everyone as predicted. she for some reason, sees everyone as a threat. even people she never met from our family, she had something derogatory to say to them. my niece who just had her first child, was "creeped out" by her, adding that her "poor cousin looks sad". and yes, i believe ds is sad. sad he cant ever be himself again.
the whole situation is sad really. i just do not understand why some people must dominate in order to feel normal. my poor son.  :'(
at least we still get to see gc for the moment. :)  oh well......... maybe someday she will feel secure enough to know what real happiness is............ :-X :-\ :-[


Good to hear from you erma and great news about getting to see GC lately.  I hate that DIL acted that way with your family, but very glad to hear they formed their own opinions about the situation and wasn't nothing that came from you.

Glad again that you are getting to spend time with you GC!
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell


Great to see you and so good to hear the news...thanks so much for sharing...glad you backed off...when you do that, they wonder why, and come sniffing around as you said...and they think it's on they're terms, however, your the one who has set boundaries...believe it or not...I think you've hit the nail on the head, your DIL is intimidated by people and she feels out of her comfort zone, so she must bully to give herself strength, it's very sad, isn't it? 

Erma, I hope you continue to improve this relationship, by knowing, it's not you at all, it's her...and given time, she might come around even more...takes a long time, but with patience, and understanding, meaning, you understand her lack of self worth, perhaps things will change.

Good luck and have a very Merry Christmas.
big Hugs


Yes Erma...its being a long time since you posted.  Glad that things did change for you.  Yes, distancing yourself works wonders.  If they care, they will wonder what happened and seeing you less anxious to be around them makes them less powerful.   Anyway, good that you are enjoying your Every weeks is good huh? 

Sorry that your son looks sad.  If she pulls the string too hard it will she is running the chance of losing him.  She better watch out.  When  they are sad and distressed....and someone nice crosses their path, men are capable of living family and all searching for their happiness.  Infidelity (not always) happens because their is a crack in a relationship and there is where other people may sneak in. 

Pray for your son and dil so that they may find happiness and peace.

Love is not love Which alters when it alteration finds, Or bends with the remover to remove:


thanks ladies, i am greatful for all of you and your words of wisdom!
have a very merry christmas!! 
peace and blessings!!


Good to know you're hanging in, E. Sending love...
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama