Author Topic: breakthrough with MIL?!?!?!  (Read 3423 times)

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brandynd

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breakthrough with MIL?!?!?!
« on: December 04, 2010, 11:49:31 PM »
So.....went to watch the big 12 championship over at SIL "Amy's" tonight.  MIL was there.  We were watching the game, and everything was fine, and MIL starting talking to me like....*gasp* A HUMAN BEING!  I was so excited to be treated like an equal; I didn't know what to do with myself.  Granted, she had had a few glasses of wine, so we'll see, but right now I'm so excited and had to tell you all before I went to bed.  Will go into detail tomorrow.
<3
TLS

Faithlooksup

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Re: breakthrough with MIL?!?!?!
« Reply #1 on: December 05, 2010, 06:16:46 AM »
How Wonderful!!!  I will toast to that!!!  I am happy for you--  HUGS, Faith

Marilyn

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Re: breakthrough with MIL?!?!?!
« Reply #2 on: December 05, 2010, 07:54:07 AM »
I'm very Happy for you!!! :)Hope things start going in the right direction and you can get things resolved.


Sending a hug

Offline luise.volta

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Re: breakthrough with MIL?!?!?!
« Reply #3 on: December 05, 2010, 08:01:59 AM »
Splash of cold water: I don't pay any attention to anything anyone who has had a few glasses of wine says. I'm serious. That may be who they want to be but it's not who they are...and that's the person I have to relate to, day in and day out. I used to assume it meant something. Not so. I was a long time learning that lesson.
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

Faithlooksup

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Re: breakthrough with MIL?!?!?!
« Reply #4 on: December 05, 2010, 08:22:15 AM »
You are right Luise, I also felt the same way, and then I did not want to burst a bubble, or add any false hope....Actions do speak louder than words....HUGS, Faith

brandynd

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Re: breakthrough with MIL?!?!?!
« Reply #5 on: December 05, 2010, 12:36:36 PM »
Yes, yes, I know you're right.  Went to the baby shower today and MIL is back to being her usual cold self.  Oh well.  At least now I know that when things get rough between the two of us to keep a few bottles of wine in the trunk of my car!  I'm calling this tactic "creative problem solving." hahahaha.  Nevertheless, thanks for the continued support ladies.  I'm looking at last night as a welcome reprieve from an otherwise volatile relationship.  Like recess, but it isn't school, it's my MIL.
« Last Edit: December 05, 2010, 01:05:58 PM by luise.volta »

catchingup

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Re: breakthrough with MIL?!?!?!
« Reply #6 on: December 06, 2010, 02:36:56 PM »
 ;) :D ;D Oh!!! OH!!! Oh!!! This is just lovely. Bring on the wine ladies!! Lets be merry. Heehee  Aaah!! forgot I dont drink but must tell you this one
A friend told me that when her MIL gets too much she puts a sleeping pill in her dinner glass of wine.
Well did I laugh "The old lady is 90 and still strutting around like a peacock :
Where is Luise? :P

Offline luise.volta

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Re: breakthrough with MIL?!?!?!
« Reply #7 on: December 06, 2010, 04:15:02 PM »
Here i am! Here i am! Soaking my feet in Epsom Salts!  :o
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. Dalai Lama

brandynd

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Re: breakthrough with MIL?!?!?!
« Reply #8 on: December 15, 2010, 03:09:41 PM »
My goodness I am pleased with myself today.  Still trying to fit into DH family.  No longer trying to change WHO I AM...but still trying to find my place.  Anyways, I hope you're all ready to be impressed with this girl, because this week has been a good one.
A little background info:  I've been off for the majority of this week since next week is Christmas and I'll be working both Christmas Eve and Christmas, and my boss doesn't want me to hit overtime two weeks in a row, so I'm working a whopping 16 hours this week and have excess time on my hands.  Because of this I've been going Christmas crazy....I quit smoking a month ago, and I've been replacing that habit with crocheting and baking.  Lame, I know, but it keeps me busy!
Anyways, I made homemade truffles this year, and I failed to notice that the yield on one batch was 400 truffles.  Needless to say, I had a TON of extra.  So I packaged them up prettily and took some over to "Alice".  I ended up staying and chatting with her for 2 hours, which was admittedly a little awkward, but civil and surprisingly pleasant. 
I then took some over to MIL later that night and she was actually quite nice.....no liquor involved.  I promise, I didn't even sneak her a glass of wine.  I know I'm never going to be their favorite person, but I'm so thankful for winning these small battles.  Little reprieves from the nastiness I usually receive give me time to recharge my batteries.  My mom keeps telling me I'm like the energizer bunny.  They're mean towards me, but I just keep going and going and going and going and....well, you get it.
This year DH and I have Amy and her husband for Christmas gifts (They draw names among the kids every year since there are so many couples) and I got Amy and I concert tickets to see NKOTB....(wow I'm dating myself right now!) with the Backstreet Boys...(we were both huge fans when we were little girls, and I thought it would be fun to just have some girl time) in a city about 5 hours from where I live.  I decided to go out on a limb and get Alice a ticket as well since she loved them growing up as well, and I thought it would be mean to not include her.  I guess we'll see if this one blows up in my face, or if this weekend away will help us to form some kind of bond.
Just thought I'd post a little something, especially for the other DIL's on the site who may be having struggles of their own.  We may have to tread lightly, but getting along with the ILs can be done ladies!  I hope that my MIL chronicles help out at least one of you...and that you know you aren't completely alone within your new families!
Hopefully everyone's holiday season is going well!  I'm sending you much love from the frozen Midwest!
TLS

LaurieS

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Re: breakthrough with MIL?!?!?!
« Reply #9 on: December 15, 2010, 03:23:42 PM »
That's fantastic, but you lost me with the NKOTB.  You must remember that many of us were from farther back.. Beatles,  Doors, oh yeah Joplin.  But we are really happy that things are looking better for your relationship with the ladies.

brandynd

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Re: breakthrough with MIL?!?!?!
« Reply #10 on: December 15, 2010, 03:37:22 PM »
Hahahaha..I'm sorry.  New Kids on the Block.  Oh yes, the 1980's are back with a vengeance!

Offline Barbie

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Re: breakthrough with MIL?!?!?!
« Reply #11 on: December 15, 2010, 06:28:17 PM »
I'm very happy to hear that things are a tiny bit better with you and MIL. I honestly don't know where you DILs get the idea that you'll never be your IL's favorite person, I for one would love it if my DIL would meet me halfway, for me, the little things that you are doing would go a long way, she wouldn't have to try so hard, I've had to back off because she's the one who wants nothing to do with us.

Let us know how this weekend goes. Good luck!

SunnyDays09

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Re: breakthrough with MIL?!?!?!
« Reply #12 on: December 15, 2010, 07:12:05 PM »
TLS - frozen midwest is exactly what it is.  I believe it's 3 degrees right now?  (At least the storm is over and calling for warmer temps:  19!!) 

  You keep on keeping on.  You keep being you.  Don't let them change you.  Don't think for a moment it is YOU that "they" don't like.  You already sound like someone I would love.  You sound thoughtful and caring and fun to be around.  You are not the only one mil has difficulty relating to.  She sounds as if she might feel inferior to you.  Believe it or not.   

  To include her was going above and beyond and I think it was very nice.  You have earned your wings!! :)    Let her pull whatever junk she is gonna pull--she'll find some reason to.  But I feel by getting her a ticket too,  it was a very very nice gesture!  It will only blow up in your face because she - your MIL - has some serious issues.  Don't give it another thought.  Just go and have a good time.  (Invest in cheap wine, too)

Hugs. 
« Last Edit: December 15, 2010, 07:14:55 PM by HappyDays09 »

Offline Pooh

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Re: breakthrough with MIL?!?!?!
« Reply #13 on: December 16, 2010, 06:31:57 AM »
Ok seriously Laurie...NKOTB!!!!  How could you not know that one!  Bring on the 80's (MY FAV) and I will break out the leg-warmers and big hair!

LastStraw, I am so glad you are seeing some improvement!  You go girl!  And I hope the weekend turns out fabulously after all your hard work.  Enjoy yourself!
We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. -
Joseph Campbell

LaurieS

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Re: breakthrough with MIL?!?!?!
« Reply #14 on: December 16, 2010, 06:34:08 AM »
I'm 10 years older then you are Pooh.. by that time we went from great bands to boy bands :)
By the 80's I  was having children and I had my own New Kids On The Block.. trust me they were making plenty of noise
« Last Edit: December 16, 2010, 06:36:39 AM by Laurie »