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Problem Solving => Grandchildren => Topic started by: woolovereyes on December 28, 2012, 03:25:25 pm

Title: Re wrote my will- and it actually feels good to stand up for myself
Post by: woolovereyes on December 28, 2012, 03:25:25 pm
 :)

I will be traveling extensively for work for the next 3 months. In case the planes crash or something, I redid my will today and intentionally left out the son that ripped me off ( see kicked to the curb post ).  In the spirit of my New Years resolutions, one of which was to stop being "nice" and a "doormat" to that particular child. I must confess, I feel better for having left everything I own to my daughter and her child.

He got his "portion" when he ripped off my inheritance. Hope he's happy with it, cause the farm is worth WAY more than that was.. dumb fool.. and Now its all "legal" too.

New years resolution kept ! Yay, Go-me !
Title: Re: Re wrote my will- and it actually feels good to stand up for myself
Post by: luise.volta on December 28, 2012, 05:45:23 pm
Yippee Skippy!  :D :D :D
Title: Re: Re wrote my will- and it actually feels good to stand up for myself
Post by: elsieshaye on December 29, 2012, 06:32:06 am
Wool, it sounds like you made a decision that you feel good about and that's true to what you want for yourself.  Best wishes on your travels for work!
Title: Re: Re wrote my will- and it actually feels good to stand up for myself
Post by: woolovereyes on December 29, 2012, 01:19:49 pm
Thanks ! .. sad as the situation is/ was...  I feel much better taking control of my future. He made his choice, now I have made mine, and I see no reason why the "dutiful" child should have to share 50/50   when he already GOT his, when he ripped me off. That being said? I am very happy to leave everything to her and her child.. she is good, and that baby is adorable, so I will focus on the people in my life that actually WANT to be part of my life, and be family.
Title: Re: Re wrote my will- and it actually feels good to stand up for myself
Post by: Pooh on January 03, 2013, 11:52:53 am
Go you!
Title: Re: Re wrote my will- and it actually feels good to stand up for myself
Post by: Faith on January 09, 2013, 10:40:14 pm
Sounds like an  excellent plan. I hope your will has been tied up very clearly and shows that DS already had his share. I would hate to think there is any wriggle room for him to contest the will.
Love Faith xxx
Title: Re: Re wrote my will- and it actually feels good to stand up for myself
Post by: Faith on January 09, 2013, 10:41:31 pm
Bon Voyage, enjoy your travels. :)
Title: Re: Re wrote my will- and it actually feels good to stand up for myself
Post by: luise.volta on January 10, 2013, 12:08:32 pm
My friend's attorney put in her will that anyone contesting it was disinherited. I'm serious!
Title: Re: Re wrote my will- and it actually feels good to stand up for myself
Post by: Mtnlady on October 17, 2016, 09:28:07 am
New here, but wanted to comment (I have the narcissistic dil situation that is common on this board.) If someone doesn't want to share life together, they shouldn't get to share in the proceeds in death. Glad you feel empowered! Good for a you!
Title: Re: Re wrote my will- and it actually feels good to stand up for myself
Post by: luise.volta on October 17, 2016, 09:37:54 am
Welcome, M. We ask all new members to go to our HomePage and under Read Me First, to read the posts placed there for you. Please pay special attention to the Forum Agreement to be sure WWU is a fit. We're a monitored Website. Thanks.
Title: Re: Re wrote my will- and it actually feels good to stand up for myself
Post by: Pen on October 29, 2016, 06:48:27 pm
Welcome, ML! I was shocked to discover this DIL phenomenon. I had no idea until it happened to our family. And I agree about not sharing the benefits. My DIL is pretty sure we're not in the financial situation to leave DS & her much of anything, so maybe that's why she's not kissing up. She got what she wanted from us before the wedding. Once the ink was dry she was done, lol.
Title: Re: Re wrote my will- and it actually feels good to stand up for myself
Post by: Evalyn on December 09, 2016, 12:41:57 am
My husband died in July, my stepson came and helped himself to my husband's guitar, gold necklace and bracelet. within days. Later he came and asked for his rings. I had been married to my husband for 28 years and he left everything to me in his will. At first, I was grieving so much for my husband, I didn't give the taking of the gold much thought. I scraped together enough money to pay for the funeral myself. My DD helped with the flowers and organisation. Because of that, youngest DD (I have two) stopped speaking to me. At the funeral, Stepson made a real exhibition of himself, crying loudly, pushed me away when I put my hand on his elbow, sat on the other side of the church away from my family.
After five months, I found myself feeling deep resentment about my stepson taking the gold, I didn't mind him having the heavy gold necklace as I knew he would wear it, but I really, really want the bracelet. He took my DH's guitar as well. It is only the bracelet I mind so much about. I can't stop thinking about it and it is driving me crazy. Please can anyone help me get rid of this obsession? Asking for it back, brought forth a tirade of personal abuse. Not printable here. I just want peace of mind and to be able to move on. My DH died of cancer 5 weeks after diagnosis. I nursed him at home as I had promised to do. Stepson appeared the last few days and kept weeping all over DH. For 10 years up until last year, he didn't speak to DH.

I just don't know what to do. Thank you in advance. Evalyn.
Title: Re: Re wrote my will- and it actually feels good to stand up for myself
Post by: luise.volta on December 09, 2016, 05:31:24 am
What a sad time. My heart goes out to you, E.

For me, the unkindnesses I have had to experience at the hands of others have always been really hard to get through because I'm pretty thin-skinned. The only thing that's worked for me in getting on with my life is the gratitude that I have one. I found myself focusing on the past and forfeiting the present. Others haven't changed but I have and so my life has. Sending hugs...
Title: Re: Re wrote my will- and it actually feels good to stand up for myself
Post by: Evalyn on December 09, 2016, 09:19:36 am
I have a lot of photos of my DH, wearing the bracelet, I bought it for him and he loved it. He wore it all the time until he was too thin and ill to have it on.  Stepson even went to the undertakers, to try and get the wedding ring and gold half sovereign ring I had bought him. Even when he was on speaking terms with his father, he rarely came to see him. DH had to make the first move. SS has always been very materialistic. We never did get on very well, as our outlook on life was totally different. My DH always had to tread carefully with him.
What does hurt is the way he suddenly made friends with my youngest daughter and her three daughters. They barely spoke to me at the funeral.  I know he says unkind things about people, in an attempt to be funny.  He is unable to keep a relationship going for long and he is 39 now and gay. He said I didn't give him any support when DH died. As he wasn't around much during the 5 weeks leading up to DH's death, I feel it was unfair.
He accused oldest DD of not being around until the day DH died. She was in contact daily, Helped organise the undertaker and the funeral. She really helped. Since then she has been in touch every day. I would have been very alone without her. Her daughter, my GD has been loving and caring too. The other DD has disappeared over the horizon. Apparently because I insisted on remaining close to oldest DD. I just can't understand people who behave like this.
Sorry for going on. Thank you for listening.
Title: Re: Re wrote my will- and it actually feels good to stand up for myself
Post by: luise.volta on December 09, 2016, 09:28:03 am
One of my strongest rules is 'Don't try to make sense of the senseless'. It has helped me turn a lot of tough corners.
Title: Re: Re wrote my will- and it actually feels good to stand up for myself
Post by: Evalyn on December 09, 2016, 09:50:47 am
Thank you very much Luise, I will try and follow your advice.
Title: Re: Re wrote my will- and it actually feels good to stand up for myself
Post by: luise.volta on December 09, 2016, 10:22:20 am
I don't know it that come first or...'I can't change anything but myself.' My favorite is, 'What you think of me is none of my business.'   Hugs...
Title: Re: Re wrote my will- and it actually feels good to stand up for myself
Post by: Marina on December 09, 2016, 11:33:57 am
I'm very sorry for your loss, Evalyn.  Since it was fairly recent, you are going through a vulnerable and emotional time.  I imagine your DDs are sorting things out emotionally also.  Please be kind to yourself as you move through your grief and be around people who are supportive.  SS may have taken some things belonging to DH, but you have the memories and lasting richness of your relationship with DH that SS forfeited while DH was alive.   
Title: Re: Re wrote my will- and it actually feels good to stand up for myself
Post by: Evalyn on December 11, 2016, 06:42:56 am
Thank you, do you think maybe, I was focusing on the loss of the gold bracelet, because I haven't been able to face the enormity of losing my DH? We were so close, since he retired 10 years ago, we were together much of the time.
Time for me to brave and adjust to my new life. At least I have a home and my little dog. A new great grandchild on the way, I heard yesterday. My GD is keen to involve me in her Christmas celebrations. I have much to be thankful for. Coming here has given me a different outlook on things. Many thanks. :)
Title: Re: Re wrote my will- and it actually feels good to stand up for myself
Post by: luise.volta on December 11, 2016, 08:12:29 am
Good for you, E.! It sounds like you may feel complete with this thread, do you want to close it?
Title: Re: Re wrote my will- and it actually feels good to stand up for myself
Post by: Evalyn on December 11, 2016, 02:37:44 pm
Thank you Luise, yes please close this thread.