each day is a struggle - and i sometimes slip up and call or email. then i realize the sound of my voice in a message or my email showing up in their inbox is bringing them anger again and i am sorry i started knocking on their door again.
have to stay strong and do fun things each day. i just keep praying that i will have some contact - hard to think it might be just the holidays when we live so close to them and i saw or at least talked to my foo every day when my kids where growing up. each day is a challenge. stay strong.