November 29, 2020, 08:20:00 am


"Welcome to -- When adult children marry and leave home, life can sometimes get more complex instead of simpler.  Being a mother-in-law or daughter-in-law can be tough.  How do we extend love and support to our mothers-in-law, adult children, daughters-in-law, sons-in-law, and grandchildren without interfering?  What do we do when there are communication problems?  How can we ask for help when we need it without being a burden?  And how do our family members feel about these issues?  We invite you to join our free forum, read some posts... and when you're ready...share your challenges and wisdom."

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Messages - animal_farm

Thank you for your reply. I raised a good son and I have been so sad that he found a narcissist as a wife. I get gaslighted and ignored unless they want something. Then all I hear are hints as to what she wants me to buy and passive aggressive insults. Then silence until the next round. My DIL brags about her mother being ruthless and cruel too. I can't understand how people can behave like this and be proud of themselves. My DIL calls all the shots and my son does exactly what she says. He has become less than what he once was.  I know I have to move on. I have for the most part. I just can't help getting angry when my DIL does something deliberately to make me mad.

The farm
My son left at 18 and joined the Army. He met a woman with a son online. He got married at 19. I begged him not to. Anyway my new DIL hates me. She brags about being a mean person. She controls my son and uses my two new grandkids to keep him hooked.

I could go on and on about what she has said to me, calling me a bad name etc... over the years, but I won't. I really try to keep the peace but she is a total gold digging control freak and very manipulative. My son is an imp in her presence as she doesn't let him do anything without her permission. 

I just have a question. Last time we visited Alaska where he is stationed, I had to leave a gift there that my dad gave to my daughter. My dad and step  were there along with my DIL'S parents. We couldn't take the gift on the plane. It was perfume.

My DIL if refusing to send it via mail to my daughter unless we send the postage when she said in front of my dad that she would send it to us in CA. She was sucking up to my parents as they are rich. Am I being to sensitive about it?

I'm really mad. She is a money grubber and wont do anything unless there is something in it for her. My dad paid 40 grand for her attorneys fees for her first kid against her ex husband. My dad didn't bother to include me on that decision BTW. My DIL threatened my son she would leave him if she lost custody of her first child. BTW...she was pregnant with my first grandchild when my son married her. I suspect she trapped him. I warned him about that too.

My dad, my sons granddad spends money on them that we can't afford and has made my husband and I look like paupers. My DIL treats us like dirt as a result.

So am I being too sensitive about the postage? She looks for every angle to get others to buy her gifts and give her money.

Have any thoughts? I need some wise women to get some perspective on this.