You're telling my story! Our situations are 95% identical. I have 2 children, 10 years apart, one of them (married daughter, her husband and our only grandchild) living in our planned retirement property that we put her into when she told us she was pregnant. We did it to help her out because with a baby on the way and his unstable work, it would have been difficult.
Like you they are living rent free and won't even help with simple things, but worst of all, are keeping us from the baby threatening that if we try to evict them we'll never see her again, but we don't see her much now!
My daughter blames me for not having friends because I wouldn't let her go out late at night. She blames me for not paying her enough attention, not taking her to fun places unlike her husband's mother, who is wonderful and more like a friend to get SIL and hates that we weren't like them.
Seems that apart from the blatant lies and delusional episodes my daughter suffers memory loss too, and has completely dismissed repeated trips to Disneyland, the snow, the beach, the zoo etc.
Maybe I imagined those effects???