February 23, 2020, 05:14:45 am

News:

"Welcome to WiseWomenUnite.com -- When adult children marry and leave home, life can sometimes get more complex instead of simpler.  Being a mother-in-law or daughter-in-law can be tough.  How do we extend love and support to our mothers-in-law, adult children, daughters-in-law, sons-in-law, and grandchildren without interfering?  What do we do when there are communication problems?  How can we ask for help when we need it without being a burden?  And how do our family members feel about these issues?  We invite you to join our free forum, read some posts... and when you're ready...share your challenges and wisdom."


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Messages - daniel

16
Quote from: luise.volta on April 13, 2017, 02:31:50 pm
Remember...take what you want here and leave the rest. All any of us can do is share our experience and what we have learned. It may apply and it may not. More hugs.
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Thank you. This so the same advice I gave to the new widows. So much great info here. Thanks to all who contribute
17
I'm sorry, I didn't mean I was blaming my DD.. not at all. This is all on me, I understand this. I'm looking for support and tools, which I know are here. Sometimes, we take the written word a little too literally, I need to remember this and be more careful what I write.

See.. I would love for my relationship with my DD to go right back to being as good as I used to think it was.. (did that make sense)  I did, I really thought we were super close.

That's what is hard.

Back to loving detachment.. now, where's that link?  ;)
18
You are both right. Tools.. I need tools, I'll keep reading and get myself to a therapist if I can't find them. Thanks ladies.
19
Quote from: Marina on April 12, 2017, 04:30:29 pm
For myself, when I made the decision to totally disengage from DS/DIL, my nerves calmed down and I was able to gain a clearer perspective on the situation.  Instead of being all twisted up in trying to make the relationship work, I found peace in letting go.  With time, I have been able to move past the hurt and anger and put my focus on other aspects of my life.  I love the Spring; I'm glad to be alive!   


Thanks Marina. Our experience seems to be a lot alike. Thank you so much for reaching out.

My DAD called again last night. 3 times in a month. She is having boy problems again and needed mom to talk to. I'm sucked back in and I don't trust her. I know she loves me and I would love to go back to our previous closeness. I don't think  it will end well for me if I do.

This is so hard.
20
I don't see a modify button.. ?  Hmm.. must be looking in all the wrong places.
21
Right? Grateful for every crumb thrown my way...  SMH.. I'm sick of that.  Every time one of them calls or texts, I'm afraid to pick it up.   That and texting them, I love you texts... That needs to stop too, they know I love them.

Thanks for the wonderful advice ladies.. Always knew I had to do it, but it sure isn't easy. Hugs Luise.. maybe someday I can help someone else. I hope so.
22
Grab Bag / Re: Pooh, where are you?
April 12, 2017, 03:07:52 pm
Oh No.. this isn't good. Months? Check in, Pooh..

23
Well shucks...Tried to edit my typos...Can't do it. Hope you can figure it out. :)
24
Not sure I responded to each of you, but thank you all.

I know Tom Zuba,  thanks. He joined my support group on FB to sell more books.

I did the loving detachment when DD came for a short visit in December and then let my emotions get the best of me again

But I went right back to it again and disengaged. DD called a few weeks ago and apologized. She wants our relationship to go back to what it used to be. Not gonna happen but I didn't tell her that. She will figure it out when she tries to manipulate me again and I don't budge.

DIL is still nuts as all get out..Control freak to the enth degree.

DD did tell me that son wanted a divorce..Before she was pregnant with baby #2. I had no idea. With new baby he is trying  to make it work. I pray for him and the GCs.

He knows I love him and am here for him. Other than that I'm going no contact unless/until he contacts me. Same with DD.

It's hard but I must. You all are showing me the way and the light. Thank you. :)

No expectations...No disappointment.



25
Great thread. So helpful!

So many here are. So many of your stories reflect my own.

So thankful for every one of you for sharing and helping us newbies navigate this battle field

I have been disengaging and then back into it when they call or text.

I am so done with this. Thank you all again.
26
Grab Bag / Re: Resource for newly widowed
April 06, 2017, 09:49:51 am
You are very welcome, Bamboo, I hope it helps your friend as much as it did me.

27
Grab Bag / Resource for newly widowed
April 05, 2017, 11:00:44 am
Just wanted to share this site with anyone who needs something like this, or anyone who knows someone else who may benefit.

It helped me out when I finally found it, 7 months after the husband died... wasn't there when he died and hope those who need this will find it much sooner than I did.

At any rate, I made many friends through this site that I remain friends with to this day. Just as We need each other to help us navigate our AC, because others don't get it, the widowed need the same.

www.widowedvillage.org

www.soaringspiritsloss.org




28
Grab Bag / Re: Thank you!
April 04, 2017, 02:49:55 pm
A great big Thanks from me too.

I lost this site and couldn't find it again..until now!  Woohoo.

I've missed you, wise women. Thank you for being here. More wisdom is always searched for and I found it in you all. Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!

Love and hugs coming your way.
29
PP, you are not alone.  I have 2 sisters also and one is toxic like yours is. Good job and thank you for sharing. This thread helps.

PS:  Please accept my condolences on the loss of your parents. I lost mine in the span of months also. It isn't easy. Hugs!
30
Grab Bag / Re: Today is my 90th Birthday!
April 04, 2017, 02:35:18 pm
Happy Happy Birthday! Hope you had a great day and a wonderful year.