February 21, 2020, 01:14:49 am

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"Welcome to WiseWomenUnite.com -- When adult children marry and leave home, life can sometimes get more complex instead of simpler.  Being a mother-in-law or daughter-in-law can be tough.  How do we extend love and support to our mothers-in-law, adult children, daughters-in-law, sons-in-law, and grandchildren without interfering?  What do we do when there are communication problems?  How can we ask for help when we need it without being a burden?  And how do our family members feel about these issues?  We invite you to join our free forum, read some posts... and when you're ready...share your challenges and wisdom."


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Topics - allthatmatters

1
Ok ladies I have a thick skin so if I've being unreasonable let me have it I am trying to learn :)

My MIL is awesome, I am extremely lucky let me tell you and I know that.  My issue is her telling me how to take care of my children like I don't know what I am doing and it hurts my feelings and makes me mad.  It seems to be that she cannot seperate me from her other grandchildrens mom, who for tr lack of better words should have never been allowed to have children.  My inlaws have been raising my nieces on and off their whole lives and they currently live with them full time.  Who knows maybe my mil is just being caring but from my stand point telling me to watch my daughter when my mil walks away?  I am standing right there I always have my eyes on her even when's DH has her.  It's like she does not trust me :(  another example is when they get colds she keeps questioning if they are going to the doctor and if I say they will be fine it's just a cold and she just keeps going on and on.
Maybe it's just me and I am being to sensitive I don't want her to think I am a terrible mom like the other one :(
2
Thank you for all the advice from all the wonderful ladies on this site. 

I have never posted before, just a long time lurker but I have learned so much from you all!!  I am a DIL with a wonderful DH, 1 DS and 1 DD.  Adjusting to my inlaws has been difficult for me at times and being able to come here and see the wise wisdom of the ladies here as helped me to understand my MIL and her point of view.  My DH's family and mine are so different that it is a struggle for me sometimes to understand she means well.  We actually see my DH's family more than mine, I know it is not as much as they would like but I believe in spending time with just my immediate family (DH, DS, and DD) so we see them every 2 to 3 weeks for a couple hours.  Does that not seem like enough?  They also get alone time (which I never understood but allow) with them during the weekend day time only except for DS.  He is 10 so old enough but DD is 2 and does not like to be away from me.  That is difficult for her to understand when I would say no and she kept asking.  I finally followed some advise I read on her and laid it on the table (respectfully of course) that DD is just to young right now, I do not feel comfortable and neither does she.  Whenever I pick her up she rushes me and will not let go for hours, she will not even go to DH.  To be it seems normal for a 2 year old to be clingy to their parents but not to my MIL.   :(  However talking to her seemed to work, she understood and stopped asking.

Again I really just wanted to post and say thank you.