Anyway my DS and I are finally getting to know each other as adults and it is working out pretty well. Don't give up all hope, just spend your time doing things that make you happy. Enjoy your life and anytime that your brain starts to spiral into the abyss of hopelessness remind yourself of all you have that is wonderful. Kiss your DH and the two of you plan something you both enjoy. Your DS has his own lessons to learn and now life is his teacher, not you.